i had dinner with the tomato farmer last night. now, before you judge, hear me out. i re-read my earlier post about him and it was a little angry, huh? i didn't mean to give off the impression that he is a bad guy. because he isn't.

he started calling me around thanksgiving and i never picked up the phone. in dec., he sent me a txt asking me to please call him when i got a chance. i responded to his txt that i would when i wasn't so busy. i never did. he called and called again and over the weekend, i answered. he asked me to go to dinner. i obliged. i mean, he had put forth a lot of effort to get in touch with me and i'm really just not angry with him. plus, when it comes down to it, he's my friend. so we met at a little diner not far from my house and we had a really nice time. we chatted about all kinds of things from the past few months of our lives and we laughed about some things from the past. he also brought up everything that happened this past summer...

he apologized for the way things happened and the way things turned out. he said he had thought a lot about the things i said to him and he never meant to hurt me. he said he understands completely why i was hurt and why i had to walk away. he said he thought he was making the right decision by sticking to his word and letting her come. he said he had always tried to be a man of his word and he really believed the only way to be a man of your word is to follow through on committments and uphold those promises. he said he had been honest with me from the beginning and he would always be honest with me. he said he regretted the way things turned out with us, and not only because they didn't work out with her. he said he regretted it because he really felt like we "mesh well together." he said the fact that i wouldn't answer his calls spoke loudly to him and he knew he had a lot of work to do to make it up to me. he said he wanted that chance. when i was leaving, he tried to kiss me. i gave him my cheek.

i know you're judging me. stop judging me! i haven't let him back in, i haven't put all my eggs in his basket, i didn't even let him kiss me (and we all know I enjoy a nice kiss every now and then!)! i'm actually not sure how i feel. if i look at the facts, plain and simple, it's like this: he was honest with me and he let me walk away because he felt like he had to fulfill a promise. he now wants to make it up to me. he said he was sorry, he said he was wrong, he asked how he could make it up to me, and he asked for forgiveness. he was genuine. he acknowledged he made a mistake and he wants to rectify it. now, when i compare that to many other guys i know, they would not go to such lengths to apologize for something they had done to hurt me, especially if they felt like they had been honest all along and i had still gotten myself involved.

we'll see what happens. we do have a history, and we do get along. and now that she is out of the picture (he even said please believe me when i say i am done with that situation for good), it was almost as though it was a first date again. i believe he is coming to me with open hands to try something with me again. i'm not opposed to seeing him again. that's the next step to take. but don't worry. he isn't getting my full attention and i'm definitely not going to pass up going out with other people if the opportunity arises. he can come to me completely open and want to start fresh and i will remain strong and keep my wits about me.

don't hate.