my friend told me about her friday night and i feel compelled to share it with you, my faithful readers. my friend january recently ran into an old friend at a local event. she was so excited that he remembered her because well, he's hot, and who doesn't get excited when a hot guy remembers them? he asked for her number and they proceeded to spend the next several weeks together, chatting on the phone, going out to dinner, he even went as far as to not only introduce her to his friends, but bring her entirely into his friend group so that his friends are now her friends and she even has arrangements to move in with one of the girls from his friend group. the past few weeks however, she's been a little concerned that perhaps he didn't feel the same way she did. he wasn't returning her calls as quickly and it seemed to almost be in rewind mode instead of fast forward. but he never restrained himself from making out with her.
so, this past friday, january, this guy and all of their friends (remember, she is just as much a part of his friend group as he is now) go out to dinner then to a dance club. where he proceeds to make out with another chick. yes, right in front of january. he even brings this other chick back to his house where everyone in the friend group had planned to stay the night. so january is left in the awkward position of having to ask him and his new friend to stand up from the couch so she can retrieve her coat and purse from where they were sitting. of course her feelings were hurt. she said it best when she said "even if i'm just your makeout buddy, don't make out with someone else in front of me!"
i'm just really getitng disheartened by all the dbags in this town, and it seems, on planet earth. where did guys get the impression that they no longer have to pursue us, fight for us, and just treat us with some common dignity? i told january she needs to call him out on it. she should ask him what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, or she should just tell him that she doesn't hang out with guys who kiss other girls in front of her. he obviously hasn't ever had anyone call him out on his completely inappropriate actions and put him in his place. january doesn't want to do that because its just so completely awkward for her. one friend said to act like she doesnt care because that will make him chase her. i disagree. games are fine until you get hurt. and then you have to either stand up for yourself or just walk away and not let it bother you. if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place, then you cant be upset with them for not meeting your expecations.
but speaking of expectations, for the first few months after i got back into the dating scene, i thought maybe my expectations were just too high. i don't think so. i don't think it's too much to expect that if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know. don't tell me to meet you out at the bar. don't only txt me or facebook me or communicate with me in other internetable ways. MAN UP and call me! MAN UP and take me on a date! wasn't it meredith grey who said "I want heat! I want romance! damn it, i want to feel like a freakin' lady!" guys these days just dont want to put the effort into dating someone anymore. they want to meet a girl in the bar, take her home, then not have to talk to her again. or, they want to take a girl to dinner a few times, take her home, and then not talk to her again. i can't tell you how many guys txt me to meet them out on the weekends, but they don't call me during the week, and they certainly don't ask me to dinner.
there's something to be said for getting to know someone as friends first, but bottom line is, if you're interested in her, you should take her to dinner, and romance her and really let her know that you want to spend time with her. making out in the bar is fun and it's fine every now and then. we all do it. but that isn't a relationship and it's not a valid way to get to know someone. i dont think i can scream it any louder. if you want to get to know me, if you are interested in me , then flippin ask me on a date and be a MAN. stop being a boy. i like pansies but only the garden variety. i like boys but i prefer men. and i certainly dont want any type of male who doesn't have enough balls to ask me on a date and make me feel like a freakin' lady!
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