i chose my dentist for location and convenience. and i was literally mortified when he walked in and he was gorgeous. as in the kind of gorgeous where you sit straight up with that bib still on your neck and you feel like a big loser for not dressing up for the dentist. as in next time you're wearing a prom dress for the dentist kind of hot. as in going to the dentist will never be dreadful again. as in how in the heck are you supposed to get him to ask for your number with the crazy hygentist lurking around kind of hot.
my dentist spent 30 entirely unnecessary minutes explaining to me my jaw condition. it would have been one thing had i been able to understand a word he said. but he was using all kinds of medical jargon. maybe it was farsi. either way, i didn't understand. i did understand though that the fact that he stared me right in the eyes for the entire 30 minutes while massaging (yes, massaging) my jaw meant he might not be opposed to being interested in more than just my teeth. thank goodness he gave me a prescription and while i probably needed some more cowbell, it was just what the doctor ordered. after searching facebook for him (no luck) and emailing various friends to see if they knew him from high school (why is his bio on the dentist office's website?!), i decided to be a MAN and go after what i wanted: i called to ask him about my prescription. he didn't have voicemail so the hygentist made me leave her my name, number and tell her what my question was (question? what's a question?) and she promised he would call me back later. all i could come up was a lame "can i take this at work" question (he had specifically told me not to take it at work but she doesn't need to know that). i hung up feeling quite pleased with myself. i knew if he called, it would be from his cell phone. no one could deny that chemistry.
and call he did. he left me a voice mail with his personal cell number and told me to please call him with any other questions. i mean what's a girl to do other than call him back? so i called him back and explained that was a fake question, that i really just wanted him to have my number in case he wasn't seeing anyone. he responded that he was engaged but that he was really flattered and he was excited to see i had left him a number to call me back because he had been really attracted to me during my visit (engaged or not, i was totally wearing a prom dress at my next visit). i said something along the lines of oh well, it was worth a try, see ya. he proceeded to txt me for the rest of the night. at first it was hard not to get caught up in it but i finally came to my senses and told him he didn't sound very engaged and he shouldn't be txting me if he really was. this sort of banter was quite frequent for several weeks until i realized he was just needing to feel attractive and wanted since he was about to tie the knot. i told him that; he called me freud and that was that. i stopped responding all together.
but i really do have these jaw problems and one night, i freaked out and sent him a message about my jaw. he was equally worried (at the time we weren't sure how serious it was) and told me to come in asap for him to check it out. so i went. but i wore gym clothes and came straight from a workout. i honestly didn't expect the sweat to have a greater effect than a prom dress, but he txted me that night and the game started again. he kept asking me just to meet him out for a drink one night (turns out he and the fiancee live together and she was out of town) so i called my best friend and asked what i should do. i mean, was it really any different than meeting me a friend who was engaged? she told me to go so i wouldn't have to wonder anymore. so i went and i actually said i hoped we had a horrible time. only we didn't. we had a fabulous time and stayed out till 2 am. on a school night. he gave me his coat when i was cold, he held the door for me, he flirted, he tried to plant one, ok several, on me, he begged me not to leave at the end of the night, he called to make sure i got home ok when i did finally leave. he also said he had no intention of cheating on his wife when i asked him if he was planning on it after they got married. i told him that was false because he was trying to cheat on her while they were engaged. he said she had everything he wanted but they were lacking a physical relationship. i told him that wasn't going to get better after they got married and perhaps he should decide if she is what he wanted before they got any closer to the wedding.
he continued to text me for several days after this. i finally told him he had to stop - as long as she had a ring on her finger, nothing would happen with us. he told me he just wanted to show me how attracted he was to me. umm, that's a negative. the last time i had an appointment, i canceled. he didn't get in touch with me, wondering where i was. i think he got the hint. the whole thing was fascinating to me - how a man who says he is in love can have an emotional affair with a woman he barely knows to satisfy some part of his relationship he is obviously lacking. i guess it's more common that i realized. it was hard not to get caught up in it - i mean, i cannot sit here and say i wouldn't go out with him if they did break up. but then i look at the situation and i think, "but there is nothing to guarantee me he wouldn't do the same thing to me that he is doing to her." and i feel so badly for her. i feel like i learned so much from him without him even knowing he was teaching me.
i don't feel like he's a bad person. i feel like he was willing to make a bad decision and had i let it go further, he would have. i'm not trying to toot my own horn here people. i shouldn't have let it get past the first txt message - i should have told him not to contact me if he really was engaged or i should have not responded at all. and i dont have any excuse other than it was all so intriguing. i almost feel like instead of those jaw massages, i needed to be knocked in the head with a giant frying pan. this whole episode did nothing but feed his ego. and the bigger his ego got, the worse i felt about it all. i've followed his rules about things i need to do to improve the condition of my jaw but i'm glad i didn't follow his advances, if you will. if those jaw massages were any indicator...stop it.
this guy is probably the ultimate dbag. i wish i could give out an award. he'd win it for sure.
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