i had dinner with the tomato farmer last night. now, before you judge, hear me out. i re-read my earlier post about him and it was a little angry, huh? i didn't mean to give off the impression that he is a bad guy. because he isn't.
he started calling me around thanksgiving and i never picked up the phone. in dec., he sent me a txt asking me to please call him when i got a chance. i responded to his txt that i would when i wasn't so busy. i never did. he called and called again and over the weekend, i answered. he asked me to go to dinner. i obliged. i mean, he had put forth a lot of effort to get in touch with me and i'm really just not angry with him. plus, when it comes down to it, he's my friend. so we met at a little diner not far from my house and we had a really nice time. we chatted about all kinds of things from the past few months of our lives and we laughed about some things from the past. he also brought up everything that happened this past summer...
he apologized for the way things happened and the way things turned out. he said he had thought a lot about the things i said to him and he never meant to hurt me. he said he understands completely why i was hurt and why i had to walk away. he said he thought he was making the right decision by sticking to his word and letting her come. he said he had always tried to be a man of his word and he really believed the only way to be a man of your word is to follow through on committments and uphold those promises. he said he had been honest with me from the beginning and he would always be honest with me. he said he regretted the way things turned out with us, and not only because they didn't work out with her. he said he regretted it because he really felt like we "mesh well together." he said the fact that i wouldn't answer his calls spoke loudly to him and he knew he had a lot of work to do to make it up to me. he said he wanted that chance. when i was leaving, he tried to kiss me. i gave him my cheek.
i know you're judging me. stop judging me! i haven't let him back in, i haven't put all my eggs in his basket, i didn't even let him kiss me (and we all know I enjoy a nice kiss every now and then!)! i'm actually not sure how i feel. if i look at the facts, plain and simple, it's like this: he was honest with me and he let me walk away because he felt like he had to fulfill a promise. he now wants to make it up to me. he said he was sorry, he said he was wrong, he asked how he could make it up to me, and he asked for forgiveness. he was genuine. he acknowledged he made a mistake and he wants to rectify it. now, when i compare that to many other guys i know, they would not go to such lengths to apologize for something they had done to hurt me, especially if they felt like they had been honest all along and i had still gotten myself involved.
we'll see what happens. we do have a history, and we do get along. and now that she is out of the picture (he even said please believe me when i say i am done with that situation for good), it was almost as though it was a first date again. i believe he is coming to me with open hands to try something with me again. i'm not opposed to seeing him again. that's the next step to take. but don't worry. he isn't getting my full attention and i'm definitely not going to pass up going out with other people if the opportunity arises. he can come to me completely open and want to start fresh and i will remain strong and keep my wits about me.
don't hate.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
just one of the guys
disclaimer: i feel the need for this because the below post is not about a tool. while this blog is mainly about the tools i've met along the way, some of them are more clueless than just flat out dbags. so unless i call the particular guy a tool, a dbag, or any other type of word, he may or may not be a tool or a dbag.
i had this realization. there's this group of guys that my girlfriends and i hang around with when we go out. it's pretty standard - they're always in the same place on the same nights of the week, so we always know if we want to have a rowdy time, to just be on their schedule and a rowdy time will be had by all. it's a great group of guys; they all went to college together, they're all intelligent, have good jobs, charming, cute, witty, and the list goes on. the only problem is the jury is still out on whether or not they are date-able. there's one or two that are definitely tools and a half, but the majority of them are just fun guys (so maybe it's not entirely fair to them to write about them on this blog. but whatever).
my girlfriends and i have had our fun kissing various ones from the group (there's a running joke about how we've kissed the same ones) but it's become a pretty regular occurrence for one of the guys and moi to make out in their favorite bar (classy, i know). he's become a good friend of mine: we chat over gmail almost every day, see each other at the gym and share the occasional txt message (and i get some funny phone calls late at night on his walks home from the bar). so of course, because i love men and the attention and i'm sure we could go on and on about how this is all my fault, i develop a crush on this guy. and by the way, i love the word crush. it's so sophomoric yet not, all at the same time. and it's just so fitting: you don't love the guy, you don't even know if you like him. but he's fun to flirt with and you enjoy your time with him. hence, the crush. so anyway, it came to my attention during a g-chat conversation that he and the other guys think of me as one of them. i'm just one of the guys. now, that is partially ideal. it's great to be in with the guys because then there is a higher percentage that your crush will return the crush - i mean, what guy wants to date a girl that his friends don't accept? so being one of the guys and feeling like one of the guys is half the marathon, and i'm there (13.5 miles left to go!). but i realized that we shouldn't accept being one of the guys. because then the crush has a high percentage of a chance (or however you say it) of only seeing us as one of the guys and not as this great treasure that he needs to stake his claim on and protect.
so i emailed my friends and told them the crush was off. like clap on, clap off: crush on, crush off. i also informed the guy that i would no longer be making out with him in the bar. a very good, and wise, friend of mine has always said "actions speak louder" and it is SO true! actions speak so much louder than anything else. making out with someone can easily be read as a potential relationship developing, but it's not. and i'm not sure it's necessarily fair to the other person to assume that is what they mean when they make out with you, or try to get you to go home with them, or even succeed in taking you home (i mean hey, who wants to purchase the fattened cow when they can get one for free). if a guy is really interested, he's going to invest time and energy into getting to know you as a person and treating you with the respect you deserve. it's hard too, when the guy is a lot of fun, to not be tempted to go to the places you know he will be, or to return the affection when he makes a pass. it's just better to keep emotions out of it until you know someone's true intentions.
if you want to make out with me, take me on a date! make me feel like a freakin lady! otherwise, if you just want a make out buddy, why not just make out with one of your buddies. ya know, one of the guys. at least then you don't have to worry about it getting weird when one begins to develop a crush. well, it may be weird, but that's a different story.
i had this realization. there's this group of guys that my girlfriends and i hang around with when we go out. it's pretty standard - they're always in the same place on the same nights of the week, so we always know if we want to have a rowdy time, to just be on their schedule and a rowdy time will be had by all. it's a great group of guys; they all went to college together, they're all intelligent, have good jobs, charming, cute, witty, and the list goes on. the only problem is the jury is still out on whether or not they are date-able. there's one or two that are definitely tools and a half, but the majority of them are just fun guys (so maybe it's not entirely fair to them to write about them on this blog. but whatever).
my girlfriends and i have had our fun kissing various ones from the group (there's a running joke about how we've kissed the same ones) but it's become a pretty regular occurrence for one of the guys and moi to make out in their favorite bar (classy, i know). he's become a good friend of mine: we chat over gmail almost every day, see each other at the gym and share the occasional txt message (and i get some funny phone calls late at night on his walks home from the bar). so of course, because i love men and the attention and i'm sure we could go on and on about how this is all my fault, i develop a crush on this guy. and by the way, i love the word crush. it's so sophomoric yet not, all at the same time. and it's just so fitting: you don't love the guy, you don't even know if you like him. but he's fun to flirt with and you enjoy your time with him. hence, the crush. so anyway, it came to my attention during a g-chat conversation that he and the other guys think of me as one of them. i'm just one of the guys. now, that is partially ideal. it's great to be in with the guys because then there is a higher percentage that your crush will return the crush - i mean, what guy wants to date a girl that his friends don't accept? so being one of the guys and feeling like one of the guys is half the marathon, and i'm there (13.5 miles left to go!). but i realized that we shouldn't accept being one of the guys. because then the crush has a high percentage of a chance (or however you say it) of only seeing us as one of the guys and not as this great treasure that he needs to stake his claim on and protect.
so i emailed my friends and told them the crush was off. like clap on, clap off: crush on, crush off. i also informed the guy that i would no longer be making out with him in the bar. a very good, and wise, friend of mine has always said "actions speak louder" and it is SO true! actions speak so much louder than anything else. making out with someone can easily be read as a potential relationship developing, but it's not. and i'm not sure it's necessarily fair to the other person to assume that is what they mean when they make out with you, or try to get you to go home with them, or even succeed in taking you home (i mean hey, who wants to purchase the fattened cow when they can get one for free). if a guy is really interested, he's going to invest time and energy into getting to know you as a person and treating you with the respect you deserve. it's hard too, when the guy is a lot of fun, to not be tempted to go to the places you know he will be, or to return the affection when he makes a pass. it's just better to keep emotions out of it until you know someone's true intentions.
if you want to make out with me, take me on a date! make me feel like a freakin lady! otherwise, if you just want a make out buddy, why not just make out with one of your buddies. ya know, one of the guys. at least then you don't have to worry about it getting weird when one begins to develop a crush. well, it may be weird, but that's a different story.
Monday, January 19, 2009
i've got the cure for your problem baby
i chose my dentist for location and convenience. and i was literally mortified when he walked in and he was gorgeous. as in the kind of gorgeous where you sit straight up with that bib still on your neck and you feel like a big loser for not dressing up for the dentist. as in next time you're wearing a prom dress for the dentist kind of hot. as in going to the dentist will never be dreadful again. as in how in the heck are you supposed to get him to ask for your number with the crazy hygentist lurking around kind of hot.
my dentist spent 30 entirely unnecessary minutes explaining to me my jaw condition. it would have been one thing had i been able to understand a word he said. but he was using all kinds of medical jargon. maybe it was farsi. either way, i didn't understand. i did understand though that the fact that he stared me right in the eyes for the entire 30 minutes while massaging (yes, massaging) my jaw meant he might not be opposed to being interested in more than just my teeth. thank goodness he gave me a prescription and while i probably needed some more cowbell, it was just what the doctor ordered. after searching facebook for him (no luck) and emailing various friends to see if they knew him from high school (why is his bio on the dentist office's website?!), i decided to be a MAN and go after what i wanted: i called to ask him about my prescription. he didn't have voicemail so the hygentist made me leave her my name, number and tell her what my question was (question? what's a question?) and she promised he would call me back later. all i could come up was a lame "can i take this at work" question (he had specifically told me not to take it at work but she doesn't need to know that). i hung up feeling quite pleased with myself. i knew if he called, it would be from his cell phone. no one could deny that chemistry.
and call he did. he left me a voice mail with his personal cell number and told me to please call him with any other questions. i mean what's a girl to do other than call him back? so i called him back and explained that was a fake question, that i really just wanted him to have my number in case he wasn't seeing anyone. he responded that he was engaged but that he was really flattered and he was excited to see i had left him a number to call me back because he had been really attracted to me during my visit (engaged or not, i was totally wearing a prom dress at my next visit). i said something along the lines of oh well, it was worth a try, see ya. he proceeded to txt me for the rest of the night. at first it was hard not to get caught up in it but i finally came to my senses and told him he didn't sound very engaged and he shouldn't be txting me if he really was. this sort of banter was quite frequent for several weeks until i realized he was just needing to feel attractive and wanted since he was about to tie the knot. i told him that; he called me freud and that was that. i stopped responding all together.
but i really do have these jaw problems and one night, i freaked out and sent him a message about my jaw. he was equally worried (at the time we weren't sure how serious it was) and told me to come in asap for him to check it out. so i went. but i wore gym clothes and came straight from a workout. i honestly didn't expect the sweat to have a greater effect than a prom dress, but he txted me that night and the game started again. he kept asking me just to meet him out for a drink one night (turns out he and the fiancee live together and she was out of town) so i called my best friend and asked what i should do. i mean, was it really any different than meeting me a friend who was engaged? she told me to go so i wouldn't have to wonder anymore. so i went and i actually said i hoped we had a horrible time. only we didn't. we had a fabulous time and stayed out till 2 am. on a school night. he gave me his coat when i was cold, he held the door for me, he flirted, he tried to plant one, ok several, on me, he begged me not to leave at the end of the night, he called to make sure i got home ok when i did finally leave. he also said he had no intention of cheating on his wife when i asked him if he was planning on it after they got married. i told him that was false because he was trying to cheat on her while they were engaged. he said she had everything he wanted but they were lacking a physical relationship. i told him that wasn't going to get better after they got married and perhaps he should decide if she is what he wanted before they got any closer to the wedding.
he continued to text me for several days after this. i finally told him he had to stop - as long as she had a ring on her finger, nothing would happen with us. he told me he just wanted to show me how attracted he was to me. umm, that's a negative. the last time i had an appointment, i canceled. he didn't get in touch with me, wondering where i was. i think he got the hint. the whole thing was fascinating to me - how a man who says he is in love can have an emotional affair with a woman he barely knows to satisfy some part of his relationship he is obviously lacking. i guess it's more common that i realized. it was hard not to get caught up in it - i mean, i cannot sit here and say i wouldn't go out with him if they did break up. but then i look at the situation and i think, "but there is nothing to guarantee me he wouldn't do the same thing to me that he is doing to her." and i feel so badly for her. i feel like i learned so much from him without him even knowing he was teaching me.
i don't feel like he's a bad person. i feel like he was willing to make a bad decision and had i let it go further, he would have. i'm not trying to toot my own horn here people. i shouldn't have let it get past the first txt message - i should have told him not to contact me if he really was engaged or i should have not responded at all. and i dont have any excuse other than it was all so intriguing. i almost feel like instead of those jaw massages, i needed to be knocked in the head with a giant frying pan. this whole episode did nothing but feed his ego. and the bigger his ego got, the worse i felt about it all. i've followed his rules about things i need to do to improve the condition of my jaw but i'm glad i didn't follow his advances, if you will. if those jaw massages were any indicator...stop it.
this guy is probably the ultimate dbag. i wish i could give out an award. he'd win it for sure.
my dentist spent 30 entirely unnecessary minutes explaining to me my jaw condition. it would have been one thing had i been able to understand a word he said. but he was using all kinds of medical jargon. maybe it was farsi. either way, i didn't understand. i did understand though that the fact that he stared me right in the eyes for the entire 30 minutes while massaging (yes, massaging) my jaw meant he might not be opposed to being interested in more than just my teeth. thank goodness he gave me a prescription and while i probably needed some more cowbell, it was just what the doctor ordered. after searching facebook for him (no luck) and emailing various friends to see if they knew him from high school (why is his bio on the dentist office's website?!), i decided to be a MAN and go after what i wanted: i called to ask him about my prescription. he didn't have voicemail so the hygentist made me leave her my name, number and tell her what my question was (question? what's a question?) and she promised he would call me back later. all i could come up was a lame "can i take this at work" question (he had specifically told me not to take it at work but she doesn't need to know that). i hung up feeling quite pleased with myself. i knew if he called, it would be from his cell phone. no one could deny that chemistry.
and call he did. he left me a voice mail with his personal cell number and told me to please call him with any other questions. i mean what's a girl to do other than call him back? so i called him back and explained that was a fake question, that i really just wanted him to have my number in case he wasn't seeing anyone. he responded that he was engaged but that he was really flattered and he was excited to see i had left him a number to call me back because he had been really attracted to me during my visit (engaged or not, i was totally wearing a prom dress at my next visit). i said something along the lines of oh well, it was worth a try, see ya. he proceeded to txt me for the rest of the night. at first it was hard not to get caught up in it but i finally came to my senses and told him he didn't sound very engaged and he shouldn't be txting me if he really was. this sort of banter was quite frequent for several weeks until i realized he was just needing to feel attractive and wanted since he was about to tie the knot. i told him that; he called me freud and that was that. i stopped responding all together.
but i really do have these jaw problems and one night, i freaked out and sent him a message about my jaw. he was equally worried (at the time we weren't sure how serious it was) and told me to come in asap for him to check it out. so i went. but i wore gym clothes and came straight from a workout. i honestly didn't expect the sweat to have a greater effect than a prom dress, but he txted me that night and the game started again. he kept asking me just to meet him out for a drink one night (turns out he and the fiancee live together and she was out of town) so i called my best friend and asked what i should do. i mean, was it really any different than meeting me a friend who was engaged? she told me to go so i wouldn't have to wonder anymore. so i went and i actually said i hoped we had a horrible time. only we didn't. we had a fabulous time and stayed out till 2 am. on a school night. he gave me his coat when i was cold, he held the door for me, he flirted, he tried to plant one, ok several, on me, he begged me not to leave at the end of the night, he called to make sure i got home ok when i did finally leave. he also said he had no intention of cheating on his wife when i asked him if he was planning on it after they got married. i told him that was false because he was trying to cheat on her while they were engaged. he said she had everything he wanted but they were lacking a physical relationship. i told him that wasn't going to get better after they got married and perhaps he should decide if she is what he wanted before they got any closer to the wedding.
he continued to text me for several days after this. i finally told him he had to stop - as long as she had a ring on her finger, nothing would happen with us. he told me he just wanted to show me how attracted he was to me. umm, that's a negative. the last time i had an appointment, i canceled. he didn't get in touch with me, wondering where i was. i think he got the hint. the whole thing was fascinating to me - how a man who says he is in love can have an emotional affair with a woman he barely knows to satisfy some part of his relationship he is obviously lacking. i guess it's more common that i realized. it was hard not to get caught up in it - i mean, i cannot sit here and say i wouldn't go out with him if they did break up. but then i look at the situation and i think, "but there is nothing to guarantee me he wouldn't do the same thing to me that he is doing to her." and i feel so badly for her. i feel like i learned so much from him without him even knowing he was teaching me.
i don't feel like he's a bad person. i feel like he was willing to make a bad decision and had i let it go further, he would have. i'm not trying to toot my own horn here people. i shouldn't have let it get past the first txt message - i should have told him not to contact me if he really was engaged or i should have not responded at all. and i dont have any excuse other than it was all so intriguing. i almost feel like instead of those jaw massages, i needed to be knocked in the head with a giant frying pan. this whole episode did nothing but feed his ego. and the bigger his ego got, the worse i felt about it all. i've followed his rules about things i need to do to improve the condition of my jaw but i'm glad i didn't follow his advances, if you will. if those jaw massages were any indicator...stop it.
this guy is probably the ultimate dbag. i wish i could give out an award. he'd win it for sure.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
dont kiss her in front of me
my friend told me about her friday night and i feel compelled to share it with you, my faithful readers. my friend january recently ran into an old friend at a local event. she was so excited that he remembered her because well, he's hot, and who doesn't get excited when a hot guy remembers them? he asked for her number and they proceeded to spend the next several weeks together, chatting on the phone, going out to dinner, he even went as far as to not only introduce her to his friends, but bring her entirely into his friend group so that his friends are now her friends and she even has arrangements to move in with one of the girls from his friend group. the past few weeks however, she's been a little concerned that perhaps he didn't feel the same way she did. he wasn't returning her calls as quickly and it seemed to almost be in rewind mode instead of fast forward. but he never restrained himself from making out with her.
so, this past friday, january, this guy and all of their friends (remember, she is just as much a part of his friend group as he is now) go out to dinner then to a dance club. where he proceeds to make out with another chick. yes, right in front of january. he even brings this other chick back to his house where everyone in the friend group had planned to stay the night. so january is left in the awkward position of having to ask him and his new friend to stand up from the couch so she can retrieve her coat and purse from where they were sitting. of course her feelings were hurt. she said it best when she said "even if i'm just your makeout buddy, don't make out with someone else in front of me!"
i'm just really getitng disheartened by all the dbags in this town, and it seems, on planet earth. where did guys get the impression that they no longer have to pursue us, fight for us, and just treat us with some common dignity? i told january she needs to call him out on it. she should ask him what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, or she should just tell him that she doesn't hang out with guys who kiss other girls in front of her. he obviously hasn't ever had anyone call him out on his completely inappropriate actions and put him in his place. january doesn't want to do that because its just so completely awkward for her. one friend said to act like she doesnt care because that will make him chase her. i disagree. games are fine until you get hurt. and then you have to either stand up for yourself or just walk away and not let it bother you. if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place, then you cant be upset with them for not meeting your expecations.
but speaking of expectations, for the first few months after i got back into the dating scene, i thought maybe my expectations were just too high. i don't think so. i don't think it's too much to expect that if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know. don't tell me to meet you out at the bar. don't only txt me or facebook me or communicate with me in other internetable ways. MAN UP and call me! MAN UP and take me on a date! wasn't it meredith grey who said "I want heat! I want romance! damn it, i want to feel like a freakin' lady!" guys these days just dont want to put the effort into dating someone anymore. they want to meet a girl in the bar, take her home, then not have to talk to her again. or, they want to take a girl to dinner a few times, take her home, and then not talk to her again. i can't tell you how many guys txt me to meet them out on the weekends, but they don't call me during the week, and they certainly don't ask me to dinner.
there's something to be said for getting to know someone as friends first, but bottom line is, if you're interested in her, you should take her to dinner, and romance her and really let her know that you want to spend time with her. making out in the bar is fun and it's fine every now and then. we all do it. but that isn't a relationship and it's not a valid way to get to know someone. i dont think i can scream it any louder. if you want to get to know me, if you are interested in me , then flippin ask me on a date and be a MAN. stop being a boy. i like pansies but only the garden variety. i like boys but i prefer men. and i certainly dont want any type of male who doesn't have enough balls to ask me on a date and make me feel like a freakin' lady!
so, this past friday, january, this guy and all of their friends (remember, she is just as much a part of his friend group as he is now) go out to dinner then to a dance club. where he proceeds to make out with another chick. yes, right in front of january. he even brings this other chick back to his house where everyone in the friend group had planned to stay the night. so january is left in the awkward position of having to ask him and his new friend to stand up from the couch so she can retrieve her coat and purse from where they were sitting. of course her feelings were hurt. she said it best when she said "even if i'm just your makeout buddy, don't make out with someone else in front of me!"
i'm just really getitng disheartened by all the dbags in this town, and it seems, on planet earth. where did guys get the impression that they no longer have to pursue us, fight for us, and just treat us with some common dignity? i told january she needs to call him out on it. she should ask him what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, or she should just tell him that she doesn't hang out with guys who kiss other girls in front of her. he obviously hasn't ever had anyone call him out on his completely inappropriate actions and put him in his place. january doesn't want to do that because its just so completely awkward for her. one friend said to act like she doesnt care because that will make him chase her. i disagree. games are fine until you get hurt. and then you have to either stand up for yourself or just walk away and not let it bother you. if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place, then you cant be upset with them for not meeting your expecations.
but speaking of expectations, for the first few months after i got back into the dating scene, i thought maybe my expectations were just too high. i don't think so. i don't think it's too much to expect that if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know. don't tell me to meet you out at the bar. don't only txt me or facebook me or communicate with me in other internetable ways. MAN UP and call me! MAN UP and take me on a date! wasn't it meredith grey who said "I want heat! I want romance! damn it, i want to feel like a freakin' lady!" guys these days just dont want to put the effort into dating someone anymore. they want to meet a girl in the bar, take her home, then not have to talk to her again. or, they want to take a girl to dinner a few times, take her home, and then not talk to her again. i can't tell you how many guys txt me to meet them out on the weekends, but they don't call me during the week, and they certainly don't ask me to dinner.
there's something to be said for getting to know someone as friends first, but bottom line is, if you're interested in her, you should take her to dinner, and romance her and really let her know that you want to spend time with her. making out in the bar is fun and it's fine every now and then. we all do it. but that isn't a relationship and it's not a valid way to get to know someone. i dont think i can scream it any louder. if you want to get to know me, if you are interested in me , then flippin ask me on a date and be a MAN. stop being a boy. i like pansies but only the garden variety. i like boys but i prefer men. and i certainly dont want any type of male who doesn't have enough balls to ask me on a date and make me feel like a freakin' lady!
hey can you not post those to facebook?
Recently, I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of a good friend of mine from school. she married a sweet boy from another state. her family is small and his is large, so they chose to have their wedding in his hometown. for years this fabulous couple has spoken about how much fun it would be if his best friends met her best friends because they would all get along so well. i don't think they anticipated just how well the best friends would get along.
the bride and groom had a wedding website and one of the groomsmen posted his congratulations along with a notice to all bridesmaids that he was on the hunt for his wife at this wedding and we better hone our dancing skills. now, anyone who knows me knows that 1: i cannot resist a good dance off and b, i cannot resist a good smack talking sesh. i responded to his post to which he responded with a facebook friendship request. i accepted and for the three weeks leading up to the wedding, we traded messages about the dance off that would ensue at the wedding. i was super curious to meet this badass from cali.
i was not impressed when i first met him. he came in saying "where's my girl" and i so wish i could demonstrate his little jig he did when he met me. he also looked like he was from cali, and i, well, do not (not to mention that sometimes people from this area of Cali dress a little...dooshy) . we hugged and that was that. it wasn't until the rehearsal dinner that the trash talking came to a head and we both realized how much chemistry there was between us. we danced all night in between our sneaks off to makeout in the darkened hallway (yes, we really snuck off to makeout in the dark hallways and i enjoyed it). we followed the rest of the wedding party back to the groom's parent's house for some hot tub action. the hot tub was scandalous and delicious (all maids and men had paired off) and it was literally some of the steamiest kissing i've experienced. we didn't see each other until the next day when we walked down the aisle at the wedding. he said to me "i've been waiting to kiss those juicy red lips of yours all day." sweet, right? yes. at the reception we danced and dined and drank. there were dance offs galore. the entire wedding party went back to the aforementioned house where we paired off again. this groomsman, another groomsman (who happens to be his best friend) and i went to a back bedroom where we stayed up until the wee hours talking and eating pizza. i was so intrigued by this professional athlete from the west coast who said he was moving to the east coast to play for a team out here.
the next day we all get the great idea to go into town, rent a big hotel room and party all night. the big hotel room didn't make much sense though since everyone was ready to go to bed at different times. he and i got our own room where we watched movies and talked all night. the next morning, as i got ready for my early flight out, he asked me if i was ever going to talk to him again. i said that was up to him. he responded with "oh, you and i are going to be seeing a lot more of each other." i told him i had a great time and i got on my jet plane. i love the feeling a really fun weekend leaves you with. little did i know how dramatic this boy would turn out to be...
i received a txt from him asking me to not post any pictures to facebook of us. well hell-o, sounds like someone must have a girlfriend. he even went as far as to tell me he doesn't have a girlfriend but he doesn't like dealing with the headache of having to explain. he also said he didn't think the two world's best kissers (i am actually quite the kiss-artist) needed to put it on display for all of facebook to see. im not even sure he even considered the fact that i might have my own situations and might lack a desire to get myself in trouble. i was pretty irritated however that he was take a weekend fling and turn it into something dramatic in just a few short text messages. one of the other maids had some telling pictures that i asked her to email to me. i then emailed him one of us kissing and said "so i'm confused. am i supposed to post and tag this or not?" i admit - it was slightly bitchy on my part and i'm not surprised i haven't heard back. i also posted on his wall something funny about a rapper we both enjoy and he deleted the post. yes my readers, he DELETED the post. haven't i already said you don't delete me? and wait, weren't you the one who asked me if i was ever going to talk to you again?
turns out this guy totally has a girlfriend. maybe they don't have that title, but some girl keeps posting pics of them together at various places around town, and i'm just assuming she's the one he was worried about catching him when he sent me those txts. i mean, call me crazy but when you show up in a family picture, you're obviously more than just some RANDO. at first my feelings were hurt that he sent me those txts (i guess some guys don't want to brag to their friends), but the more i've studied his profile, the more i've realized he's just an honest tool and he doesn't know any better. and i'm guessing he deleted my wall post because he doesn't want to have to deal with THAT headache. that's alright. he deleted my wall post, so now i've deleted him as a friend. it really is SO refreshing to do that.
the bride and groom had a wedding website and one of the groomsmen posted his congratulations along with a notice to all bridesmaids that he was on the hunt for his wife at this wedding and we better hone our dancing skills. now, anyone who knows me knows that 1: i cannot resist a good dance off and b, i cannot resist a good smack talking sesh. i responded to his post to which he responded with a facebook friendship request. i accepted and for the three weeks leading up to the wedding, we traded messages about the dance off that would ensue at the wedding. i was super curious to meet this badass from cali.
i was not impressed when i first met him. he came in saying "where's my girl" and i so wish i could demonstrate his little jig he did when he met me. he also looked like he was from cali, and i, well, do not (not to mention that sometimes people from this area of Cali dress a little...dooshy) . we hugged and that was that. it wasn't until the rehearsal dinner that the trash talking came to a head and we both realized how much chemistry there was between us. we danced all night in between our sneaks off to makeout in the darkened hallway (yes, we really snuck off to makeout in the dark hallways and i enjoyed it). we followed the rest of the wedding party back to the groom's parent's house for some hot tub action. the hot tub was scandalous and delicious (all maids and men had paired off) and it was literally some of the steamiest kissing i've experienced. we didn't see each other until the next day when we walked down the aisle at the wedding. he said to me "i've been waiting to kiss those juicy red lips of yours all day." sweet, right? yes. at the reception we danced and dined and drank. there were dance offs galore. the entire wedding party went back to the aforementioned house where we paired off again. this groomsman, another groomsman (who happens to be his best friend) and i went to a back bedroom where we stayed up until the wee hours talking and eating pizza. i was so intrigued by this professional athlete from the west coast who said he was moving to the east coast to play for a team out here.
the next day we all get the great idea to go into town, rent a big hotel room and party all night. the big hotel room didn't make much sense though since everyone was ready to go to bed at different times. he and i got our own room where we watched movies and talked all night. the next morning, as i got ready for my early flight out, he asked me if i was ever going to talk to him again. i said that was up to him. he responded with "oh, you and i are going to be seeing a lot more of each other." i told him i had a great time and i got on my jet plane. i love the feeling a really fun weekend leaves you with. little did i know how dramatic this boy would turn out to be...
i received a txt from him asking me to not post any pictures to facebook of us. well hell-o, sounds like someone must have a girlfriend. he even went as far as to tell me he doesn't have a girlfriend but he doesn't like dealing with the headache of having to explain. he also said he didn't think the two world's best kissers (i am actually quite the kiss-artist) needed to put it on display for all of facebook to see. im not even sure he even considered the fact that i might have my own situations and might lack a desire to get myself in trouble. i was pretty irritated however that he was take a weekend fling and turn it into something dramatic in just a few short text messages. one of the other maids had some telling pictures that i asked her to email to me. i then emailed him one of us kissing and said "so i'm confused. am i supposed to post and tag this or not?" i admit - it was slightly bitchy on my part and i'm not surprised i haven't heard back. i also posted on his wall something funny about a rapper we both enjoy and he deleted the post. yes my readers, he DELETED the post. haven't i already said you don't delete me? and wait, weren't you the one who asked me if i was ever going to talk to you again?
turns out this guy totally has a girlfriend. maybe they don't have that title, but some girl keeps posting pics of them together at various places around town, and i'm just assuming she's the one he was worried about catching him when he sent me those txts. i mean, call me crazy but when you show up in a family picture, you're obviously more than just some RANDO. at first my feelings were hurt that he sent me those txts (i guess some guys don't want to brag to their friends), but the more i've studied his profile, the more i've realized he's just an honest tool and he doesn't know any better. and i'm guessing he deleted my wall post because he doesn't want to have to deal with THAT headache. that's alright. he deleted my wall post, so now i've deleted him as a friend. it really is SO refreshing to do that.
Monday, January 12, 2009
the tools don't get sharper
so the tomato farmer is back. oh yes, i totally called this one. it didn't work out with his lady friend. so he's been calling me. as a matter of fact, i got a txt at 4 pm yesterday asking me to go to the movies with him (this is AFTER he called last week to tell me things hadn't worked out with her and he wanted to spend some time with me...please). i said i had dinner plans to which he responded "would you care to join me after that?" ummm would I care to? that's a negative ghost rider. did he not learn ANYTHING the first go round after i told him time after time not to ask me out last minute? and how about the whole passing up something good with me for a maybe with her? i'm not going to be your second choice pal. did you think i was kidding when i said that?
i guess this is just proof that tools don't get sharper, they only get duller the more they sit in the shed.
i guess this is just proof that tools don't get sharper, they only get duller the more they sit in the shed.
OMG, we're not bff anymore?
Sorry, it's been awhile. I've been dealing with weddings galore, holidays, and of course, tool boxes so big my arms hurt from trying to lug them around in my mind.
I borrowed this title from an article I saw in the Wall Street Journal. It was about the art of "unfriending" on facebook, myspace, and other social networking sites. Now, this definitely caught my attention because I love deleting friends on facebook. it's not meant to be mean or callous or cause hurt feelings. it's simply because i am friends with a lot of people that i do not talk to regularly. so why should they be privy to all aspects of my life? i mean, i guess i shouldn't enable all aspects of my life to be open to the public domain but whatever. i'm a double standard in the best form possible.
so, i log on to facebook in an attempt to delete a particular person...we'll call him boat boy. and lo and behold, i find he is no longer on my friends list. wtf...i know he didn't delete me! i know HE did not delete ME! after i got over my initial shock that someone actually had the nerve to delete me, i decided it was definitely time to blog about him.
i'm involved with a local young professionals organization and we had a party aboard a yacht; a booze cruise if you will. boat boy was a boat hand for the evening; the hired help if you will. but he was hot hired help. all the girls are flirting with him but i wasn't worried. at the end of the night, being in no shape to drive my car to the after party, he offered to drive it for me. i obliged and off we went. we showed up late to the after party - i mean, since he was hired help and all, he had to help clean the boat while i sat in the car and wondered what in the world i had gotten myself into. at the after party, we dance, we hold hands, we kanoodle as people in bars often do on or around a pool table. when the night was over, we both realized how hungry we were, so we drove to a local hot dog stand, got some dogs, and took them back to my condo. we stayed up ALL night talking about life, love and everything along the way. He confided that he took his job in NC (at the time of our meeting, he'd been in the city for about 2 months) because he had prayed about it and God had really laid it on his heart to be here. I don't care what your religious affiliation is: nothing is sexier than a hot man talking about God, even if he does have hot dog breath and a mustard stain on his shirt. He got my number, manages to get back home, and proceeds to text message me about hanging out again soon.
unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. he and i get into somewhat of a text messaging argument over a girl we'll call Susan. i have a friend named susan, whom he had met at the after party that night, and he was telling me he really liked susan. they were not and are not one in the same and i most definitely put my foot in my own mouth that night. i accused him of being a player and going behind my back to get to know my friend susan while leading me on. i was especially angry with him because i honestly thought i had found a real winner who prayed about life decisions and really was an upstanding Christian man. boy was I WRONG. after these texts, i decided to do some investigating and came to the realization that he was indeed dating susan. only it was not my susan. but i was involved in an organization with his susan, so that was just weird, because i don't think she had any idea that he still kept in contact with me. so i stopped responding and moved on. i wanted the story to end there.
susan and boat boy broke up. know how i know? because he started gchatting me and wanting to know why i never talked to him anymore. at this point, i messaged his roommate, who i think is actually a nice guy, and told him boat boy had hurt my feelings about the whole susan situation. i'm not sure what the roommate said to boat boy, but boat boy apologized. i don't like to hold grudges. he asked me out repeatedly for about 2 months before i said ok. he said a group of his friends were getting together for some drinks and would i please go with him. i'm not sure why i said ok. oh wait, i know why. because he is extremely good looking and i just can't say no to a doosh. in theory, i can, but in reality, they are charming. so i go, we have a good time, i think his roommate bought my glass of wine. i go home, he txts me, says he wants to hang out again that same week. i said i didn't know if i would have the time due to my hectic work schedule. plus, i don't know if i even liked him at this point.
the next day, he g-chats me and the convo turns to sex. yes, s-e-x. after a group date. i tell him i'm not sleeping with anyone until i get married. he spends about 25 minutes blasting me over gchat for what a dumb decision that is and how no one would put up with that. i told him i didn't think it really should matter and that he wouldn't be the first person to not hang out with me again because of this decision.
i wasn't surprised to not get a response from him. then i hear through the grapevine he moved home. then i go to delete him and turns out he's deleted me.
so when i see this article in the paper, i immediately think of him. thank god we're not facebook bffs anymore. only a tool would delete me from his friend list for not sleeping with him. i, on the other hand, delete people for MUCH better reasons.
I borrowed this title from an article I saw in the Wall Street Journal. It was about the art of "unfriending" on facebook, myspace, and other social networking sites. Now, this definitely caught my attention because I love deleting friends on facebook. it's not meant to be mean or callous or cause hurt feelings. it's simply because i am friends with a lot of people that i do not talk to regularly. so why should they be privy to all aspects of my life? i mean, i guess i shouldn't enable all aspects of my life to be open to the public domain but whatever. i'm a double standard in the best form possible.
so, i log on to facebook in an attempt to delete a particular person...we'll call him boat boy. and lo and behold, i find he is no longer on my friends list. wtf...i know he didn't delete me! i know HE did not delete ME! after i got over my initial shock that someone actually had the nerve to delete me, i decided it was definitely time to blog about him.
i'm involved with a local young professionals organization and we had a party aboard a yacht; a booze cruise if you will. boat boy was a boat hand for the evening; the hired help if you will. but he was hot hired help. all the girls are flirting with him but i wasn't worried. at the end of the night, being in no shape to drive my car to the after party, he offered to drive it for me. i obliged and off we went. we showed up late to the after party - i mean, since he was hired help and all, he had to help clean the boat while i sat in the car and wondered what in the world i had gotten myself into. at the after party, we dance, we hold hands, we kanoodle as people in bars often do on or around a pool table. when the night was over, we both realized how hungry we were, so we drove to a local hot dog stand, got some dogs, and took them back to my condo. we stayed up ALL night talking about life, love and everything along the way. He confided that he took his job in NC (at the time of our meeting, he'd been in the city for about 2 months) because he had prayed about it and God had really laid it on his heart to be here. I don't care what your religious affiliation is: nothing is sexier than a hot man talking about God, even if he does have hot dog breath and a mustard stain on his shirt. He got my number, manages to get back home, and proceeds to text message me about hanging out again soon.
unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. he and i get into somewhat of a text messaging argument over a girl we'll call Susan. i have a friend named susan, whom he had met at the after party that night, and he was telling me he really liked susan. they were not and are not one in the same and i most definitely put my foot in my own mouth that night. i accused him of being a player and going behind my back to get to know my friend susan while leading me on. i was especially angry with him because i honestly thought i had found a real winner who prayed about life decisions and really was an upstanding Christian man. boy was I WRONG. after these texts, i decided to do some investigating and came to the realization that he was indeed dating susan. only it was not my susan. but i was involved in an organization with his susan, so that was just weird, because i don't think she had any idea that he still kept in contact with me. so i stopped responding and moved on. i wanted the story to end there.
susan and boat boy broke up. know how i know? because he started gchatting me and wanting to know why i never talked to him anymore. at this point, i messaged his roommate, who i think is actually a nice guy, and told him boat boy had hurt my feelings about the whole susan situation. i'm not sure what the roommate said to boat boy, but boat boy apologized. i don't like to hold grudges. he asked me out repeatedly for about 2 months before i said ok. he said a group of his friends were getting together for some drinks and would i please go with him. i'm not sure why i said ok. oh wait, i know why. because he is extremely good looking and i just can't say no to a doosh. in theory, i can, but in reality, they are charming. so i go, we have a good time, i think his roommate bought my glass of wine. i go home, he txts me, says he wants to hang out again that same week. i said i didn't know if i would have the time due to my hectic work schedule. plus, i don't know if i even liked him at this point.
the next day, he g-chats me and the convo turns to sex. yes, s-e-x. after a group date. i tell him i'm not sleeping with anyone until i get married. he spends about 25 minutes blasting me over gchat for what a dumb decision that is and how no one would put up with that. i told him i didn't think it really should matter and that he wouldn't be the first person to not hang out with me again because of this decision.
i wasn't surprised to not get a response from him. then i hear through the grapevine he moved home. then i go to delete him and turns out he's deleted me.
so when i see this article in the paper, i immediately think of him. thank god we're not facebook bffs anymore. only a tool would delete me from his friend list for not sleeping with him. i, on the other hand, delete people for MUCH better reasons.
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