I was immediately intrigued by the Incident. We got matched up and his profile made me laugh. It was clear we shared the same sense of humor. I told the aforementioned good friend about it and she said, oh yes my coworker has met him but they aren’t dating, so I figured it was a go. By the way, I need to meet this coworker. I have a hunch we’d be best friends since we have such similar taste in men! Think of the stories!
We met for drinks the first night and seriously laughed the entire time. He was cute in a rugged kind of way; I had never been on a date with a bearded fellow before. His emails and txt messages to me were hysterical and full of questions and thoughts about future activities we should do together. He has a good job and seems to be stable in his career (and once I get around to posting about my two friends Jekyll and Hyde, you’ll realize that being stable in your career is very attractive to me and imperative to dating me). He was so witty and I found myself completely falling for his charm. Because I’m starting over of sorts with my life, I tried really hard to let this thing play out and not rush things. My interest in him grew by the day and I really started thinking, wow, I’ve met a good one! FINALLY! Hark those herald Angels sing! We saw each other here and there, and when he had to leave for the week for work, we continued our budding romance over the internet and phone. He told me he would change his plans and come back to town if it meant we could see each other. I agreed and I was enthralled. I had NEVER had a guy change his plans for me like that! We went to dinner the night he got back and had the best time. We already had plans to go to a nearby city to see the Christmas lights the next day. I told my good friend this and she said it must be pretty serious if I was committing not one, but two weekend nights to him! I said I was really starting to like him! The date to see the Christmas lights was wonderful and the most fun I can remember having in a long time. It was so romantic and it was nice to be enjoying something like that with someone I actually enjoyed. He volunteered to go to church with me the next morning, and then we had lunch with my neighbor. All in all, I was even more impressed at the end of the weekend than I was at the beginning.
However, shortly after lunch, we got into a discussion about strip clubs. Seriously? Don’t even get me started. I’m not entirely sure how the topic came up and when I asked him if he frequented strip clubs, he said no but he does go for bachelor parties. I went off about how strip clubs are degrading and terrible and he said something about how it was good to know I wouldn’t trust him. I assured it was not a matter of trust but a matter of respect. He asked what if it was his bachelor party and he hadn’t planned it. I said if you respect me, you won’t go. And if we were getting married, I would hope you would have enough respect for our marriage to not go. He said ok and that was that. After he left, I got pretty annoyed because strip clubs shouldn’t even be something we were arguing about. Ever. I should have recognized THAT red flag! The next week was Christmas, and I was flying out on Wed. night after work. He asked if he could cook me dinner on Tuesday and I accepted. I mean, hello, what girl doesn’t want a guy cooking her dinner?!? Somewhere between the strip club conversation and Monday evening, we got into a pretty heated debate via, what else, txt message about trips. He said assuming things continued to go well, he would like to cash in his points and take a cruise with me. Because I get freaked out easily, I started getting freaked out. I mean, it had been TWO flippin weeks and he wants to take a TRIP with me!? Um, I don’t think so buddy. I told him I would never do that, and I was honest when I said the main reason was because of my family. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, but why would I throw things in their face if I could avoid disappointment and wait until rings were involved. He responded with, “well, I would hope that as a 28 year old adult in a committed relationship, that my partner would be making decisions that would be good for the relationship and not just because her family doesn’t approve.” I could just see him puffing his chest out as he typed. I retorted with, “and I would hope as a 27 year old adult in a committed relationship that my partner accepts certain quirks about my family and never puts me in a position where I have to choose.” His use of the word partner annoyed me to no end and he used it frequently! I decided to write him a THREE PAGE letter. I explained to him how important it was for me to find someone who was involved in church and didn’t just do it because it was important to me, but because it was important to them. I told him I needed the respect that strip clubs would not come up again and I wouldn’t have to worry he was going. I told him I would not be sleeping with him; that perhaps some of my actions had led him to believe otherwise, and I was sorry, but because I really liked him, I wanted to try to do things the right way, and for me, the right way was to not hook up before we were married. Talk about being a nervous squirrel! I went to dinner in a bad mood because I was so beside myself with angst. Dinner was out of this world! He even made my favorite dessert because he knew how much I liked it! He told me he remembered my comment about formal letter writing being a lost art, and he had written me a letter. Here is an excerpt:
I love when your affectionate and sweet, and I really could talk to you all day. Which is huge cause I hate listening to most people, especially women, talk…there is so much I already love about you. yes I know its very gay but I do feel like you kinda get me already and I just have so much fun with you…I even hate cats yet yours doesn’t even remotely bother me…this is completely out of the ordinary that I feel this way. I have never really felt all these things at once for a girl…I have been getting these chest pains sometimes as I worry that you won’t ever feel the same. But I feel like there is something special with you that could be what I have been looking for in a partner to share the rest of my life with…
OK, besides all the grammatical errors, and the use of that blasted word partner, this letter took my breath away. Even though we’d only known each other a few weeks, he was, it seemed, practically everything I’d been looking for. We’d spent so much time emailing and talking and just hanging out the past few weeks that we’d gotten to know each other pretty well. We had shared stories about our pasts and he had confided in me that he never wanted to be like his father. It was hard to not be secretly excited for what was unfolding. I gave him my letter and he read it. I told him I knew there were things in there that could be deal killers, which is why I felt it was fair to let him know these things from the get go. Remember, I’m great at spotting red flags when they’re waved in my face, so when his first reaction was to tell me I was setting myself up to be single the rest of my life, it’s no wonder I still sat there. He said it sucked because he really liked me, but he wasn’t going to try to change my mind, and then he asked could we get married in 6 months so I wouldn’t have to obey any rules. I told him to slow it down and back the train up. We left it with me feeling awkward and him saying he’d think about things. And then, Christmas came.
We both went home to our families, and our communication broke down. Perhaps it was me. I’m just not good at responding to bathroom humor messages (the best thing he got for Christmas was butt wipes? Make sure I get a bike with a seat cushion good for my vajayjay? And yes, he said vajayjay to me). He ended up coming back to our town earlier than he had initially said, so I should have been wary. My brother and some friends came to town the day after I got home, so we knew we wouldn’t see each other much for the next week. However, had it been me, and I was wearing his shoes, I would have done things differently. If I was OK with the terms of the letter (it really does sound like a business transaction, eh?) then I would have tried to see this girl I was clearly crazy about as soon as she got off the plane, even just to see her face for a minute. I mean, I had been sending her txt messages about different things I loved about her. I most certainly would have been waiting anxiously for her to call me or txt me and tell me she had landed safely. I wouldn’t have waited until the next morning to check my txts and tell her I was glad she made it home. Of course, I also wouldn’t have called up an old flame and taken them to dinner and then gotten some sugar for dessert. When she told me she had a hunch that I had come back early to see another girl, I wouldn’t have lied and said that there were no other girls and it made me sad to think she even thought I was capable of that. I wouldn’t have told her I missed her greatly and couldn’t want to see her again. I wouldn’t have told her I had been trying to give her reassurance that I was OK with the letter. But, of course I was OK with the letter. I could date her and get my lovin’ on the side.
Too bad for you, Mr. Incident. I know the girl you took out this weekend and subsequently lied about. Turns out we have the aforementioned good friend in common who put two and two together and realized we were dating the same guy. So, next time you’re dating someone gives you AMPLE opportunity to admit to her you were jeepin’ (thanks, Clueless) behind your back and you still lie, you should probably sack up and stop digging. Oh, also, when you realize that there is a mutual friend involved, you probably should refrain for txting the other girl and asking her if she told anyone about your rendesvouz. Clearly, she is onto you too and is going to tell the mutual friend you got in touch. She said it crystal clear though when she responded to you with, “yes, I told my coworker who put two and two together and we realized you’re such a dumbass and how you are so busted.”
I think we may just have a trifecta of putting bastards out around this town.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
This is the SOUTH guy
Last night, I went out with this guy. We’ll call him Tommy Lee (not for his tats, but for his love of hard rock/heavy metal, which by the way, was weird). We had talked on the phone a couple of times, and he seemed like a nice guy, so I figured dinner wouldn’t be too awkward. I was right for the most part. He suggested a place known for its Wednesday night wine specials. It seemed like it was turning out to be a good night: I had time for a quick work out before going home and getting dressed.
As I pulled in, right on time mind you (which is HUGE for me), the new Jay Sean/ Puff Daddy song came on the radio. I of course had to finish the song out, thus making me two minutes late. Whatever. He was a nice looking guy and after the initial formalities, we decided to grab a table. The place was packed so I was immediately impressed with his choice of venue. He didn’t open the doors for me, and I was a little taken aback. This IS the south, and chivalry is NOT dead. Plus, I always notice right off the bat if a date opens the door for me or not. It indicates many things to come. I was correct in my assumptions. So, we sit down and have a glass of wine (the specials were over, so my wine, well, both glasses ended up being about 20 bucks…this is important as I’d never order more than one $10 glass of wine on my own dime) and ease into conversation. He was a computer nerd, but he had great social skills and wasn’t into dungeons or dragons or stabbing people in the neck. He made some funny comments, had a nice smile, and the date overall was nice. The food was delish and I secretly wanted to devour my entire plate but thought that might be rude to show just what a little piglet I am on a first date, especially since at this point I thought it could turn into a second date. I may or may not have made the mistake of telling him I kept a blog about bad dates, and then I told him I would not be blogging about this date (whoops) because it hadn’t been a bad date. Honestly. Until, the waitress puts the check on the table.
Because this was a first date, I nonchalantly look for my chap stick and debate going to the bathroom while thinking simultaneously he would pick up the check. Wrong. The check stayed on the table for a FULL TEN minutes (600 seconds if you’re counting) before he finally (geeze that was the LONGEST and most awkward ten minutes of my life trying to avoid making eye contact with the check) reaches for the check while saying, “well, I guess I’ll get this.” WHAT? You GUESS you’ll get it? Thanks a lot man. You flippin’ asked me on a date! You suggested the place! Why would I pay? I personally don’t feel the girl should even OFFER to pay until the third date, and even then, if the dude takes her up on her offer, that’s bad form and I probably won’t go out with you again. So, he pays (keep in mind I had $20 worth of wine on there, plus my dinner…not a bad first date from my perspective), we get up, he doesn’t open the door for me, again, and we walk to our cars. He walked me halfway to my car before turning towards his and says “have a good night. Be good!” I told him thanks for dinner, I had fun and I’d talk to him soon. He didn’t even walk me 15 more feet to my car. What if there had been a boogie man waiting for me?
This guy is from up north, but he’s lived here long enough to know in the south, things are done differently. You open the doors. You compliment your date. You walk her to her car. And you always, always pay on the first date. So, I guess I lied when I said I wouldn’t be blogging about it. Sorry, dude. Thanks for dinner.
As I pulled in, right on time mind you (which is HUGE for me), the new Jay Sean/ Puff Daddy song came on the radio. I of course had to finish the song out, thus making me two minutes late. Whatever. He was a nice looking guy and after the initial formalities, we decided to grab a table. The place was packed so I was immediately impressed with his choice of venue. He didn’t open the doors for me, and I was a little taken aback. This IS the south, and chivalry is NOT dead. Plus, I always notice right off the bat if a date opens the door for me or not. It indicates many things to come. I was correct in my assumptions. So, we sit down and have a glass of wine (the specials were over, so my wine, well, both glasses ended up being about 20 bucks…this is important as I’d never order more than one $10 glass of wine on my own dime) and ease into conversation. He was a computer nerd, but he had great social skills and wasn’t into dungeons or dragons or stabbing people in the neck. He made some funny comments, had a nice smile, and the date overall was nice. The food was delish and I secretly wanted to devour my entire plate but thought that might be rude to show just what a little piglet I am on a first date, especially since at this point I thought it could turn into a second date. I may or may not have made the mistake of telling him I kept a blog about bad dates, and then I told him I would not be blogging about this date (whoops) because it hadn’t been a bad date. Honestly. Until, the waitress puts the check on the table.
Because this was a first date, I nonchalantly look for my chap stick and debate going to the bathroom while thinking simultaneously he would pick up the check. Wrong. The check stayed on the table for a FULL TEN minutes (600 seconds if you’re counting) before he finally (geeze that was the LONGEST and most awkward ten minutes of my life trying to avoid making eye contact with the check) reaches for the check while saying, “well, I guess I’ll get this.” WHAT? You GUESS you’ll get it? Thanks a lot man. You flippin’ asked me on a date! You suggested the place! Why would I pay? I personally don’t feel the girl should even OFFER to pay until the third date, and even then, if the dude takes her up on her offer, that’s bad form and I probably won’t go out with you again. So, he pays (keep in mind I had $20 worth of wine on there, plus my dinner…not a bad first date from my perspective), we get up, he doesn’t open the door for me, again, and we walk to our cars. He walked me halfway to my car before turning towards his and says “have a good night. Be good!” I told him thanks for dinner, I had fun and I’d talk to him soon. He didn’t even walk me 15 more feet to my car. What if there had been a boogie man waiting for me?
This guy is from up north, but he’s lived here long enough to know in the south, things are done differently. You open the doors. You compliment your date. You walk her to her car. And you always, always pay on the first date. So, I guess I lied when I said I wouldn’t be blogging about it. Sorry, dude. Thanks for dinner.
Friday, November 20, 2009
once in a blue moon
I have a lot to update you readers on, but as a way to satisfy the cravings of your soul, I am turning the floor over to my dear friend. This dear friend and I met by chance one Christmas season and though we did not make out that weekend, we should have. We share so many commonalities from political beliefs to good looks that it is incredulous to think we are not soul mates. another thing we share is our almost perfect ability to attract nothing but morons, tools and toolettes alike. This dear has a track record much like my own. Even when we're not looking for a dbag, we find them. He finds the women who belong with my men. My men could build the shed these women would live in. He collects the jellies to my peanut butters, the peas to my pods. Please get excited and read on. His story will amaze you. I will be back.
I would like to first introduce myself. My name is PR and I’ll be guest blogging here at the Toolshed. At first glance I probably seem like a tool, but with closer inspection you will find that I simply play the same game. I’m a disciple of Mystery, Ronald Reagan, Social Distortion and every Red Bull girl out there who ever made the mistake of double dating on me. I think Tucker Max is a douche in general and I really make an effort to treat women with the highest degree of respect. But the West being what it is, we’re all a little nuts out here from the constant sunshine and exorbitant taxes. The creator of The Toolshed was gracious enough to allow me to contribute. I live in out west and work in the public policy/public relations arena. I first started documenting my dates and escapades about a year ago in the form of emails to two very good friends. Love me or hate me, this is one of my stories:
There are milestones in every person's life that mark who they are, what they are, and where they will be one day. The birth of a child, a game winning touchdown, beating that douchebag frat boy in a keg race, all good examples. However, there is nothing quite like spending someone else's money and getting away with it. Bankers and financial CEO's get away with it every day. But unlike them, I do not face any public outcry or media scrutiny…yet.
That very thing happened to me last weekend. I knew that Haley was in the city and had been expecting her to crash at my pad. So I stay at work past 5 and receive a call from her. She's at the Hyatt all by herself (score). I tell her I will get there when I get there, she tells me to shut up and hurry the hell up. I am not concerned because she doesn't know anyone else in town and as is often the case, I am the only game in town.
There's a guy in another office down the hall that dresses very well and is obviously well liked by the ladies. He has a name, but I didn't bother to remember it. Instead, I call him "Dapper Dan." Anyways, Dapper Dan is in his office working late and I drop by to say, "sup?" and give him the obligatory bro-fist-pound. I feel great about myself and better than Dapper Dan because I know I am Hyatt and Hottie bound, and he isn't.
I leave the office with an obscene amount of swagger in my walk. This is it I tell myself: the dream of every overweight 40-something single software salesman. Let's face it, this chica bonita is as close to a "10" as they come. So many of my friends are either getting married or have a ball and chain, but not me. But the great work of theatre known as my single years will end one day. I can just see it now: weekends with the insufferable in-laws at their beach bungalow, endless shopping trips to the newest mall, cutesy photo shoots for the Christmas card, involuntary trips to farmers markets, picking out new shades, yard work, dinner parties, never doing or saying anything right and of course, a spouse-imposed curfew. Not that I have anything at all against married couples, I’m just not ready for it yet. To commit to such a thing would be a disaster for me.
Upon arrival she tells me she has a bf that she loves very much but is all alone in the city and is bored. I laugh at this, or more accurately I laugh at him. Cruel you think? I think not. I believe in free will, individualism and the pursuit of happiness. I ask her how she can justify such infidelity. She says boredom. She asks me the same question, and I tell her "flexible morals." I ask her what she is doing here, and she replies with "none of your business." Hmm..okay, but what are you really doing here? She says an exam. I don't see this as truthful given her body language. She tells me to drop it. I drop it.
You know that scene from every movie where a dude's buttons get completely ripped off of his dress shirt? There are seven buttons on a dress shirt. Needless to say, someone is now missing three (score), and f*ck if he knows how to sew them back on.
I mean Haley really is beautiful. She's modeled for Nordstrom apparently and has been doing such things since an early age. Why she studied finance is beyond me. She's always wearing a new perfume (which is always fantastic) and maintains that oh-so-excellent tight body despite eating like an NFL lineman every time we go out. She's prone to mood swings, "Don't call my mom hot!," and "you are so emotionally unavailable sometimes!" And I like a girl who can wear heels. I especially like the fact (and this may be bordering on bizarre) that she's one of those girls that every older guy stares at when she walks by. She sets the bar for me, always reminding me of how high I should aim. Of course sometimes my vision gets blurry. Hey, it happens to the best of us.
A great night was had. We drank and ate our weight in gold. And who paid for all of this? Ha ha. Well, "Daddy" financed the entire thing. Daddy is an environmental lawyer and would just implode if he knew about everything. I'd cash in my IRA to see his face when he opens up his credit card statement. Thanks Sierra Club!
I woke up and did the cliché tip-toe to gather my things. In the movies the hot girl rolls over and says, “call me” or “leaving so soon” complete with an adorable smile while clutching the sheet. Not this one. She coldly snaps, “where the hell do you think you’re going?” No good morning, no giggle, no request for more time with me. I tell her I have a meeting and have to go. I don’t know why I did this, but I just needed to leave.
I left the Hyatt and walked to the gym with my tussled hair and missing buttons. People stared and I just giggled to myself. My neck had hickey’s, I reeked of alcohol and looked like a common vagrant in dress clothes – as if I had received them from a charity “Dress For Success For the Homeless” but instead of going to an interview I went back to the streets begging for change for another 40.
After the gym (40 pull-ups in a row!) I had breakfast at the Irish pub around the corner with coffee and the latest issue of The Economist. As I devoured the second poached egg I thought about how ridiculous my life has become, how terrible of a person I am, and other asides. And then I said "f*ck it" and ordered a Bloody Mary. I downed that and went back to bed for the rest of the day…I needed it.
I would like to first introduce myself. My name is PR and I’ll be guest blogging here at the Toolshed. At first glance I probably seem like a tool, but with closer inspection you will find that I simply play the same game. I’m a disciple of Mystery, Ronald Reagan, Social Distortion and every Red Bull girl out there who ever made the mistake of double dating on me. I think Tucker Max is a douche in general and I really make an effort to treat women with the highest degree of respect. But the West being what it is, we’re all a little nuts out here from the constant sunshine and exorbitant taxes. The creator of The Toolshed was gracious enough to allow me to contribute. I live in out west and work in the public policy/public relations arena. I first started documenting my dates and escapades about a year ago in the form of emails to two very good friends. Love me or hate me, this is one of my stories:
There are milestones in every person's life that mark who they are, what they are, and where they will be one day. The birth of a child, a game winning touchdown, beating that douchebag frat boy in a keg race, all good examples. However, there is nothing quite like spending someone else's money and getting away with it. Bankers and financial CEO's get away with it every day. But unlike them, I do not face any public outcry or media scrutiny…yet.
That very thing happened to me last weekend. I knew that Haley was in the city and had been expecting her to crash at my pad. So I stay at work past 5 and receive a call from her. She's at the Hyatt all by herself (score). I tell her I will get there when I get there, she tells me to shut up and hurry the hell up. I am not concerned because she doesn't know anyone else in town and as is often the case, I am the only game in town.
There's a guy in another office down the hall that dresses very well and is obviously well liked by the ladies. He has a name, but I didn't bother to remember it. Instead, I call him "Dapper Dan." Anyways, Dapper Dan is in his office working late and I drop by to say, "sup?" and give him the obligatory bro-fist-pound. I feel great about myself and better than Dapper Dan because I know I am Hyatt and Hottie bound, and he isn't.
I leave the office with an obscene amount of swagger in my walk. This is it I tell myself: the dream of every overweight 40-something single software salesman. Let's face it, this chica bonita is as close to a "10" as they come. So many of my friends are either getting married or have a ball and chain, but not me. But the great work of theatre known as my single years will end one day. I can just see it now: weekends with the insufferable in-laws at their beach bungalow, endless shopping trips to the newest mall, cutesy photo shoots for the Christmas card, involuntary trips to farmers markets, picking out new shades, yard work, dinner parties, never doing or saying anything right and of course, a spouse-imposed curfew. Not that I have anything at all against married couples, I’m just not ready for it yet. To commit to such a thing would be a disaster for me.
Upon arrival she tells me she has a bf that she loves very much but is all alone in the city and is bored. I laugh at this, or more accurately I laugh at him. Cruel you think? I think not. I believe in free will, individualism and the pursuit of happiness. I ask her how she can justify such infidelity. She says boredom. She asks me the same question, and I tell her "flexible morals." I ask her what she is doing here, and she replies with "none of your business." Hmm..okay, but what are you really doing here? She says an exam. I don't see this as truthful given her body language. She tells me to drop it. I drop it.
You know that scene from every movie where a dude's buttons get completely ripped off of his dress shirt? There are seven buttons on a dress shirt. Needless to say, someone is now missing three (score), and f*ck if he knows how to sew them back on.
I mean Haley really is beautiful. She's modeled for Nordstrom apparently and has been doing such things since an early age. Why she studied finance is beyond me. She's always wearing a new perfume (which is always fantastic) and maintains that oh-so-excellent tight body despite eating like an NFL lineman every time we go out. She's prone to mood swings, "Don't call my mom hot!," and "you are so emotionally unavailable sometimes!" And I like a girl who can wear heels. I especially like the fact (and this may be bordering on bizarre) that she's one of those girls that every older guy stares at when she walks by. She sets the bar for me, always reminding me of how high I should aim. Of course sometimes my vision gets blurry. Hey, it happens to the best of us.
A great night was had. We drank and ate our weight in gold. And who paid for all of this? Ha ha. Well, "Daddy" financed the entire thing. Daddy is an environmental lawyer and would just implode if he knew about everything. I'd cash in my IRA to see his face when he opens up his credit card statement. Thanks Sierra Club!
I woke up and did the cliché tip-toe to gather my things. In the movies the hot girl rolls over and says, “call me” or “leaving so soon” complete with an adorable smile while clutching the sheet. Not this one. She coldly snaps, “where the hell do you think you’re going?” No good morning, no giggle, no request for more time with me. I tell her I have a meeting and have to go. I don’t know why I did this, but I just needed to leave.
I left the Hyatt and walked to the gym with my tussled hair and missing buttons. People stared and I just giggled to myself. My neck had hickey’s, I reeked of alcohol and looked like a common vagrant in dress clothes – as if I had received them from a charity “Dress For Success For the Homeless” but instead of going to an interview I went back to the streets begging for change for another 40.
After the gym (40 pull-ups in a row!) I had breakfast at the Irish pub around the corner with coffee and the latest issue of The Economist. As I devoured the second poached egg I thought about how ridiculous my life has become, how terrible of a person I am, and other asides. And then I said "f*ck it" and ordered a Bloody Mary. I downed that and went back to bed for the rest of the day…I needed it.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
a brisket, a brasket, a bigger tool basket
I realize it's been awhile. don't hate. I found myself dating two men and unable to write much. I have a lot to say about these two men but I will give you THIS teaser: one was named Dr. Jekyll and the other, Mr. Hyde.
However, before I tell you about those fabulous men, I need to share with you the story of a boy who is very close to my heart. I saw him today at the gym and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside until I realized how wasteful my fondness is. Mason is his name (like, you know, the career) and he is super cute. And he knows it. We met at a party and, like all the boys I seem to attract, he lied to me about several things, mainly his career. His college career. Not that it matters, because this was then and that was before then. But, a lie is a lie and it's always a red flag. Anyway, Mason was at the party with a few of his friends, all of whom got my digitz but Mason laid claim to me because he of course kissed me before the night was over. Mason called me a couple of times after that, and we met up a few times after that, always at the bar, always late at night, always after drinking with other people (isn't it fabulous that this same ole story seems to generate so many fascinating stories?). Remember the story of Mr. IDD? OK, well, Mr. IDD, Mason and a boy I will call Gastleman (more on him later) were all good friends. And all players. I had been to a few late night bar meetups with Mason when I met Mr. IDD. The girls and I had gone to this great pub with outdoor seating one night and Mr. IDD met us for a bit. We were sharing a laugh when I saw Mason walk in with not one, but two, girls. You can imagine my disgust when I realized what a player he was! Because I'm smooth, I sent Mason a text message asking him to meet me at this fabulous pub with outdoor seating. He responded with "not when you're already there with my best friend." Not only did that make me feel like a complete moron, but right after I received that text, Gastleman came in with a girl. I had also gone on a couple of dates with Gastleman and was just really feeling badly about myself that I had convinced myself that while I was dating three friends, they were each only dating me. It was at this point that Mason decided he had had enough of moi.
About 3 months later, I run into Mason at the gym and things quickly picked back up. I demanded to be more than just the weekday girl - I have a theory that you should always be wary of a boy who will not see you on the weekends - and Mason made me the weekday AND the weekend girl. We went to dinners, we went on walks, we spent countless hours talking and laughing and I found that he was much more than just a pretty face. All of my friends told me to stop seeing him. He had proven he was a player, and word gets around fast, and they were all convinced he was still a player. But, I was convinced I could convince HIM to change.his.ways. Because, they ALWAYS do! Things progressed well and we agreed to meet up at this huge charity holiday party. I told the girls if Mason did indeed follow through on his promise to meet up with me at the party, and introduce me to his friends, then they had to trust his intentions were true and he had indeed turned over a new leaf. I mean, if he's introducing me to his friends, and walking around with me on his arm, then clearly he is serious. So, he showed up alright. He showed up nice and inebriated and things promptly got out of hand. Of course I thought he should be paying more attention to me, and he thought he had done his duty by introducing me to a few friends. My friends I left the party out of hunger and I sent several text messages to him letting him know where I was, what I was eating, that I was going home, and finally, where was he and why was he not responding to me. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. He didn't respond to my texts, he didn't call me, he never showed up on my chat list, and we were no longer friends on facebook. The audacity! I ran into him about 4 months later at the gym where he told me I had gone crazy and he had freaked out. He also told me he was dating someone else but asked if we could be friends again. I obliged and he unblocked me on the chat list. We're still not friends on facebook, and it's been over 2 years.
I hear he's still dating that girl but that he misses me some. Every now and then he'll message me on chat and suggest we meet up for a rendevousz. A what?!?!? I guess he really is a player. I should have listened to my friends. When I saw him at the gym tonight, my heart melted a little bit. And while I realized once again how I shouldn't waste such warm and fuzzy feelings on a guy like this, he's just so cute that how can I help it? I've decided I will add him as a friend on facebook.
However, before I tell you about those fabulous men, I need to share with you the story of a boy who is very close to my heart. I saw him today at the gym and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside until I realized how wasteful my fondness is. Mason is his name (like, you know, the career) and he is super cute. And he knows it. We met at a party and, like all the boys I seem to attract, he lied to me about several things, mainly his career. His college career. Not that it matters, because this was then and that was before then. But, a lie is a lie and it's always a red flag. Anyway, Mason was at the party with a few of his friends, all of whom got my digitz but Mason laid claim to me because he of course kissed me before the night was over. Mason called me a couple of times after that, and we met up a few times after that, always at the bar, always late at night, always after drinking with other people (isn't it fabulous that this same ole story seems to generate so many fascinating stories?). Remember the story of Mr. IDD? OK, well, Mr. IDD, Mason and a boy I will call Gastleman (more on him later) were all good friends. And all players. I had been to a few late night bar meetups with Mason when I met Mr. IDD. The girls and I had gone to this great pub with outdoor seating one night and Mr. IDD met us for a bit. We were sharing a laugh when I saw Mason walk in with not one, but two, girls. You can imagine my disgust when I realized what a player he was! Because I'm smooth, I sent Mason a text message asking him to meet me at this fabulous pub with outdoor seating. He responded with "not when you're already there with my best friend." Not only did that make me feel like a complete moron, but right after I received that text, Gastleman came in with a girl. I had also gone on a couple of dates with Gastleman and was just really feeling badly about myself that I had convinced myself that while I was dating three friends, they were each only dating me. It was at this point that Mason decided he had had enough of moi.
About 3 months later, I run into Mason at the gym and things quickly picked back up. I demanded to be more than just the weekday girl - I have a theory that you should always be wary of a boy who will not see you on the weekends - and Mason made me the weekday AND the weekend girl. We went to dinners, we went on walks, we spent countless hours talking and laughing and I found that he was much more than just a pretty face. All of my friends told me to stop seeing him. He had proven he was a player, and word gets around fast, and they were all convinced he was still a player. But, I was convinced I could convince HIM to change.his.ways. Because, they ALWAYS do! Things progressed well and we agreed to meet up at this huge charity holiday party. I told the girls if Mason did indeed follow through on his promise to meet up with me at the party, and introduce me to his friends, then they had to trust his intentions were true and he had indeed turned over a new leaf. I mean, if he's introducing me to his friends, and walking around with me on his arm, then clearly he is serious. So, he showed up alright. He showed up nice and inebriated and things promptly got out of hand. Of course I thought he should be paying more attention to me, and he thought he had done his duty by introducing me to a few friends. My friends I left the party out of hunger and I sent several text messages to him letting him know where I was, what I was eating, that I was going home, and finally, where was he and why was he not responding to me. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. He didn't respond to my texts, he didn't call me, he never showed up on my chat list, and we were no longer friends on facebook. The audacity! I ran into him about 4 months later at the gym where he told me I had gone crazy and he had freaked out. He also told me he was dating someone else but asked if we could be friends again. I obliged and he unblocked me on the chat list. We're still not friends on facebook, and it's been over 2 years.
I hear he's still dating that girl but that he misses me some. Every now and then he'll message me on chat and suggest we meet up for a rendevousz. A what?!?!? I guess he really is a player. I should have listened to my friends. When I saw him at the gym tonight, my heart melted a little bit. And while I realized once again how I shouldn't waste such warm and fuzzy feelings on a guy like this, he's just so cute that how can I help it? I've decided I will add him as a friend on facebook.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I have a story to tell you. but, because it is so much more appropriate to copy and paste the online conversation.
background: this boy got placed in the tool shed some time ago. he also hates the one sports team that i actually support consistently (keep in mind i am what you may call a 'fair weather' type fan. i pride myself in the fact that i will dress the part of number one fan but will never leave a game unhappy). the team i love happens to be the number one basketball team in town (and who doesn't love a number one) and he went to a rival school (come to think of it, and yes i know this is a lot of parantheticals, part of my team's fight song includes the words go to hell [insert his school]). he is also currently looking for a couch.
additional background: i was engaged once. all you need to know about my broken engagement is that it left me deeply wounded and is not something i ever joke about. EVER.
conversation:
me: hmm well whatever
OK. where do i even begin? First off, who the hell does he think he is that he can call me a flavor of the week type of girl? because i think if you're going to make out with your friend in the bar on numerous occasions, then you should also treat them to dinner and actually take them on a date? i'm a flavor of the week type of girl because i continually get asked out by dbags and move on to the next one when i realize what a douche they are? and who are you sir to question how i was ever engaged? just because you've become privaleged enough to know that piece of my history does not mean you can question the validity of it. nor does it mean that even though much time has passed, that the bee doesn't still sting a little. just because we've chatted online daily up until this conversation does not mean i've granted you access to the inner workings of my brain or given you any insight into the pain, humliation and utter depression i suffered because of that time in my life. anyone who would make a comment like that, joking or not, is not my real friend. nor are they anyone worthy of my interest, time and effort.
i have not spoken to him since. i don't know if he gave in and bought the couch from his ex. his ability to change the subject to soften the blow, but his absolute inability to apologize for a crass comment such as the one above proved to me so much of what i knew in my heart but really didn't want to believe: a couch is a couch, a jerk is a jerk, a douche is a douche, and you are officially a member of the shed.
background: this boy got placed in the tool shed some time ago. he also hates the one sports team that i actually support consistently (keep in mind i am what you may call a 'fair weather' type fan. i pride myself in the fact that i will dress the part of number one fan but will never leave a game unhappy). the team i love happens to be the number one basketball team in town (and who doesn't love a number one) and he went to a rival school (come to think of it, and yes i know this is a lot of parantheticals, part of my team's fight song includes the words go to hell [insert his school]). he is also currently looking for a couch.
additional background: i was engaged once. all you need to know about my broken engagement is that it left me deeply wounded and is not something i ever joke about. EVER.
conversation:
me: hmm well whatever
i love them
and you do not
10:43 AM him: that is correct
10:47 AM i guess it explains your love for frat boys and douchbaggery
me: hahahah
whatev - im so over frat boys and douch bags
10:48 AM im only hangin gout with the ones who treat me well now
but that school is just a-ok with me!
him: haha
you are such a flavor of the week type girl
10:49 AM me: no im not
him: how were u ever engaged?
me: ouch
him: im just saying
me: when i commit - i commit well
him: the last one was more of a joke
not tryign to bash your commitment skills
me: it better have been - im a good catch and he's a fool
so THERE
10:50 AM him: it was rhetorical
10:52 AM don't u hate getting emails and contacted by ex's u don't wanna talk to
my ex just sent me an email on a huge distbn list trying to sell a couch
10:53 AM me: well you need a couch
him: i do
but not a pretty pink floral one
10:58 AM me: a couch is couch
| 33 minutes |
i have not spoken to him since. i don't know if he gave in and bought the couch from his ex. his ability to change the subject to soften the blow, but his absolute inability to apologize for a crass comment such as the one above proved to me so much of what i knew in my heart but really didn't want to believe: a couch is a couch, a jerk is a jerk, a douche is a douche, and you are officially a member of the shed.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
No, there is NOT a deeper issue
So, i told the tomato farmer i would go to a movie with him. he'd been bugging me anyway and i figured i should go and see how it went before really making a decision about him. i was pretty much leaning towards NOT liking him though. but, my week got busy, i got stressed out, and i just didn't have time to go to the movies. plus, i was heading out of town for a wedding and had a lot of shiznit to do before i left. so i sent him a txt and told him i needed to reschedule and would call him later to explain. he responded a whole FOUR hours later with, "i would like to speak with you when you have a minute." he would like to SPEAK with me?? did i not just tell him i would call him LATER?? so i resent the "i will call you later" txt. he responded with "before 9 please." oh good grief. who does he think he is? so i didn't respond. i went about my beeswax, got my stuff done, and called him at 8:30. he told me he didn't expect me to be all gung-ho about him but that he had pretty simplistic expectations of me and that was to be able to spend time with me. ok, first off, dude, we ain't a couple. second off, who the hell do you think you are? i told him i had a lot to do and he had to understand at this point that of course i'm not going to be all "gung-ho" about it and there are other people involved by now too. i told him i would call him when i got back from the wedding and we could get together. we ended it there but he called later and left me a voicemail that he didn't want to be a burden and he was sorry for being dramatic; he'd been running on his emotions with me for a few weeks now. i didn't call him back - i went to the wedding and didn't think about him once. i repeat: i did not think about him AT ALL.
so this past weekend, as i was driving 6 hours to visit a friend, i decided i needed to let him know how i felt. i mean, he went to such great lengths to tell me how he felt, and i at least owed him an "i'm not interested." So I called him up. he answered, found out what i was doing and replied with, "i'd really like to see you when you get back in town." I replied with "i would love to hang out with you but it will have to be as friends. I know this isn't an over the phone conversation but i'm not able to go out to dinner right now and i'd rather not lead you on." He thanked me for the clarification then told me to shout at him sometime and hung up before i could say anything else. i'm talking i got a busy signal in my ear. i also got a txt in my inbox that said (and I quote for emphasis): "Why did u feel the need 2 do that? i had pretty much written it off anyway when you stood up last week. i'm not bitter, just curious. something deeper u not sharing?"
ok. do i even want to get started? first, don't send me a txt using numbers for words. second, you had NOT pretty much written it off (and ps, i didn't stand you up. i told you i needed to reschedule. a stand up would have just not shown up). if you had really pretty much written it off, you would have not left me an apology voicemail and you wouldn't have told me right away that you wanted to see me. period. and fourth, why do i have to have a deeper issue because i don't like you? obviously i must have SOMETHING wrong with me for not being interested! i mean what kind of girl disses a tomato farmer? obviously one with MENTAL ISSUES. whatever dude. i didn't respond to the text. i got to my friend's house and spent another weekend not thinking about him.
I believe this will be the last post about the tomato farmer.
so this past weekend, as i was driving 6 hours to visit a friend, i decided i needed to let him know how i felt. i mean, he went to such great lengths to tell me how he felt, and i at least owed him an "i'm not interested." So I called him up. he answered, found out what i was doing and replied with, "i'd really like to see you when you get back in town." I replied with "i would love to hang out with you but it will have to be as friends. I know this isn't an over the phone conversation but i'm not able to go out to dinner right now and i'd rather not lead you on." He thanked me for the clarification then told me to shout at him sometime and hung up before i could say anything else. i'm talking i got a busy signal in my ear. i also got a txt in my inbox that said (and I quote for emphasis): "Why did u feel the need 2 do that? i had pretty much written it off anyway when you stood up last week. i'm not bitter, just curious. something deeper u not sharing?"
ok. do i even want to get started? first, don't send me a txt using numbers for words. second, you had NOT pretty much written it off (and ps, i didn't stand you up. i told you i needed to reschedule. a stand up would have just not shown up). if you had really pretty much written it off, you would have not left me an apology voicemail and you wouldn't have told me right away that you wanted to see me. period. and fourth, why do i have to have a deeper issue because i don't like you? obviously i must have SOMETHING wrong with me for not being interested! i mean what kind of girl disses a tomato farmer? obviously one with MENTAL ISSUES. whatever dude. i didn't respond to the text. i got to my friend's house and spent another weekend not thinking about him.
I believe this will be the last post about the tomato farmer.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
an emoticon from...dubai???
I got a message last night on facebook from hair. It said "sooooooo.....who's susan rivers? :)"
there are so many things wrong with this. let me list them out for you:
1. we had beach time
2. susan rivers is one of my best friends
3. why would you think it is appropriate for you to ask me about one of my best friends after we had beach time?
4. that's like me asking you who your best friend is and hinting for you to hook me up.
5. that's like you saying i'm not good enough but my best friend is.
i am not jealous in an 'i like him' kind of way. i am mad that this guy is such a doosh that he thinks it is entirely appropriate and acceptable for him to inquire me about one of my best friends. and trust me, it is OBVIOUS how good of friends we are from the facebook pictures. not to mention he tried to talk to our group in a bar one night and i reminded them all of who he was and they all spun on their heels and walked away.
everything about this message was wrong and just really made me mad. i think i'm most irritated at myself though...some dbags you can't get over wishing you had never met them. i called another one of my best friends and told her what his message said. she screamed (yes, screamed) "hair is SUCH a tool."
i do not know how to explain this whole thing other than he is a tool and i am constantly amazed and bewildered at the audacity some tools have. PLEASE go to dubai and find yourself...or someone. ugh.
there are so many things wrong with this. let me list them out for you:
1. we had beach time
2. susan rivers is one of my best friends
3. why would you think it is appropriate for you to ask me about one of my best friends after we had beach time?
4. that's like me asking you who your best friend is and hinting for you to hook me up.
5. that's like you saying i'm not good enough but my best friend is.
i am not jealous in an 'i like him' kind of way. i am mad that this guy is such a doosh that he thinks it is entirely appropriate and acceptable for him to inquire me about one of my best friends. and trust me, it is OBVIOUS how good of friends we are from the facebook pictures. not to mention he tried to talk to our group in a bar one night and i reminded them all of who he was and they all spun on their heels and walked away.
everything about this message was wrong and just really made me mad. i think i'm most irritated at myself though...some dbags you can't get over wishing you had never met them. i called another one of my best friends and told her what his message said. she screamed (yes, screamed) "hair is SUCH a tool."
i do not know how to explain this whole thing other than he is a tool and i am constantly amazed and bewildered at the audacity some tools have. PLEASE go to dubai and find yourself...or someone. ugh.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
i had dinner with the tomato farmer last night. now, before you judge, hear me out. i re-read my earlier post about him and it was a little angry, huh? i didn't mean to give off the impression that he is a bad guy. because he isn't.
he started calling me around thanksgiving and i never picked up the phone. in dec., he sent me a txt asking me to please call him when i got a chance. i responded to his txt that i would when i wasn't so busy. i never did. he called and called again and over the weekend, i answered. he asked me to go to dinner. i obliged. i mean, he had put forth a lot of effort to get in touch with me and i'm really just not angry with him. plus, when it comes down to it, he's my friend. so we met at a little diner not far from my house and we had a really nice time. we chatted about all kinds of things from the past few months of our lives and we laughed about some things from the past. he also brought up everything that happened this past summer...
he apologized for the way things happened and the way things turned out. he said he had thought a lot about the things i said to him and he never meant to hurt me. he said he understands completely why i was hurt and why i had to walk away. he said he thought he was making the right decision by sticking to his word and letting her come. he said he had always tried to be a man of his word and he really believed the only way to be a man of your word is to follow through on committments and uphold those promises. he said he had been honest with me from the beginning and he would always be honest with me. he said he regretted the way things turned out with us, and not only because they didn't work out with her. he said he regretted it because he really felt like we "mesh well together." he said the fact that i wouldn't answer his calls spoke loudly to him and he knew he had a lot of work to do to make it up to me. he said he wanted that chance. when i was leaving, he tried to kiss me. i gave him my cheek.
i know you're judging me. stop judging me! i haven't let him back in, i haven't put all my eggs in his basket, i didn't even let him kiss me (and we all know I enjoy a nice kiss every now and then!)! i'm actually not sure how i feel. if i look at the facts, plain and simple, it's like this: he was honest with me and he let me walk away because he felt like he had to fulfill a promise. he now wants to make it up to me. he said he was sorry, he said he was wrong, he asked how he could make it up to me, and he asked for forgiveness. he was genuine. he acknowledged he made a mistake and he wants to rectify it. now, when i compare that to many other guys i know, they would not go to such lengths to apologize for something they had done to hurt me, especially if they felt like they had been honest all along and i had still gotten myself involved.
we'll see what happens. we do have a history, and we do get along. and now that she is out of the picture (he even said please believe me when i say i am done with that situation for good), it was almost as though it was a first date again. i believe he is coming to me with open hands to try something with me again. i'm not opposed to seeing him again. that's the next step to take. but don't worry. he isn't getting my full attention and i'm definitely not going to pass up going out with other people if the opportunity arises. he can come to me completely open and want to start fresh and i will remain strong and keep my wits about me.
don't hate.
he started calling me around thanksgiving and i never picked up the phone. in dec., he sent me a txt asking me to please call him when i got a chance. i responded to his txt that i would when i wasn't so busy. i never did. he called and called again and over the weekend, i answered. he asked me to go to dinner. i obliged. i mean, he had put forth a lot of effort to get in touch with me and i'm really just not angry with him. plus, when it comes down to it, he's my friend. so we met at a little diner not far from my house and we had a really nice time. we chatted about all kinds of things from the past few months of our lives and we laughed about some things from the past. he also brought up everything that happened this past summer...
he apologized for the way things happened and the way things turned out. he said he had thought a lot about the things i said to him and he never meant to hurt me. he said he understands completely why i was hurt and why i had to walk away. he said he thought he was making the right decision by sticking to his word and letting her come. he said he had always tried to be a man of his word and he really believed the only way to be a man of your word is to follow through on committments and uphold those promises. he said he had been honest with me from the beginning and he would always be honest with me. he said he regretted the way things turned out with us, and not only because they didn't work out with her. he said he regretted it because he really felt like we "mesh well together." he said the fact that i wouldn't answer his calls spoke loudly to him and he knew he had a lot of work to do to make it up to me. he said he wanted that chance. when i was leaving, he tried to kiss me. i gave him my cheek.
i know you're judging me. stop judging me! i haven't let him back in, i haven't put all my eggs in his basket, i didn't even let him kiss me (and we all know I enjoy a nice kiss every now and then!)! i'm actually not sure how i feel. if i look at the facts, plain and simple, it's like this: he was honest with me and he let me walk away because he felt like he had to fulfill a promise. he now wants to make it up to me. he said he was sorry, he said he was wrong, he asked how he could make it up to me, and he asked for forgiveness. he was genuine. he acknowledged he made a mistake and he wants to rectify it. now, when i compare that to many other guys i know, they would not go to such lengths to apologize for something they had done to hurt me, especially if they felt like they had been honest all along and i had still gotten myself involved.
we'll see what happens. we do have a history, and we do get along. and now that she is out of the picture (he even said please believe me when i say i am done with that situation for good), it was almost as though it was a first date again. i believe he is coming to me with open hands to try something with me again. i'm not opposed to seeing him again. that's the next step to take. but don't worry. he isn't getting my full attention and i'm definitely not going to pass up going out with other people if the opportunity arises. he can come to me completely open and want to start fresh and i will remain strong and keep my wits about me.
don't hate.
just one of the guys
disclaimer: i feel the need for this because the below post is not about a tool. while this blog is mainly about the tools i've met along the way, some of them are more clueless than just flat out dbags. so unless i call the particular guy a tool, a dbag, or any other type of word, he may or may not be a tool or a dbag.
i had this realization. there's this group of guys that my girlfriends and i hang around with when we go out. it's pretty standard - they're always in the same place on the same nights of the week, so we always know if we want to have a rowdy time, to just be on their schedule and a rowdy time will be had by all. it's a great group of guys; they all went to college together, they're all intelligent, have good jobs, charming, cute, witty, and the list goes on. the only problem is the jury is still out on whether or not they are date-able. there's one or two that are definitely tools and a half, but the majority of them are just fun guys (so maybe it's not entirely fair to them to write about them on this blog. but whatever).
my girlfriends and i have had our fun kissing various ones from the group (there's a running joke about how we've kissed the same ones) but it's become a pretty regular occurrence for one of the guys and moi to make out in their favorite bar (classy, i know). he's become a good friend of mine: we chat over gmail almost every day, see each other at the gym and share the occasional txt message (and i get some funny phone calls late at night on his walks home from the bar). so of course, because i love men and the attention and i'm sure we could go on and on about how this is all my fault, i develop a crush on this guy. and by the way, i love the word crush. it's so sophomoric yet not, all at the same time. and it's just so fitting: you don't love the guy, you don't even know if you like him. but he's fun to flirt with and you enjoy your time with him. hence, the crush. so anyway, it came to my attention during a g-chat conversation that he and the other guys think of me as one of them. i'm just one of the guys. now, that is partially ideal. it's great to be in with the guys because then there is a higher percentage that your crush will return the crush - i mean, what guy wants to date a girl that his friends don't accept? so being one of the guys and feeling like one of the guys is half the marathon, and i'm there (13.5 miles left to go!). but i realized that we shouldn't accept being one of the guys. because then the crush has a high percentage of a chance (or however you say it) of only seeing us as one of the guys and not as this great treasure that he needs to stake his claim on and protect.
so i emailed my friends and told them the crush was off. like clap on, clap off: crush on, crush off. i also informed the guy that i would no longer be making out with him in the bar. a very good, and wise, friend of mine has always said "actions speak louder" and it is SO true! actions speak so much louder than anything else. making out with someone can easily be read as a potential relationship developing, but it's not. and i'm not sure it's necessarily fair to the other person to assume that is what they mean when they make out with you, or try to get you to go home with them, or even succeed in taking you home (i mean hey, who wants to purchase the fattened cow when they can get one for free). if a guy is really interested, he's going to invest time and energy into getting to know you as a person and treating you with the respect you deserve. it's hard too, when the guy is a lot of fun, to not be tempted to go to the places you know he will be, or to return the affection when he makes a pass. it's just better to keep emotions out of it until you know someone's true intentions.
if you want to make out with me, take me on a date! make me feel like a freakin lady! otherwise, if you just want a make out buddy, why not just make out with one of your buddies. ya know, one of the guys. at least then you don't have to worry about it getting weird when one begins to develop a crush. well, it may be weird, but that's a different story.
i had this realization. there's this group of guys that my girlfriends and i hang around with when we go out. it's pretty standard - they're always in the same place on the same nights of the week, so we always know if we want to have a rowdy time, to just be on their schedule and a rowdy time will be had by all. it's a great group of guys; they all went to college together, they're all intelligent, have good jobs, charming, cute, witty, and the list goes on. the only problem is the jury is still out on whether or not they are date-able. there's one or two that are definitely tools and a half, but the majority of them are just fun guys (so maybe it's not entirely fair to them to write about them on this blog. but whatever).
my girlfriends and i have had our fun kissing various ones from the group (there's a running joke about how we've kissed the same ones) but it's become a pretty regular occurrence for one of the guys and moi to make out in their favorite bar (classy, i know). he's become a good friend of mine: we chat over gmail almost every day, see each other at the gym and share the occasional txt message (and i get some funny phone calls late at night on his walks home from the bar). so of course, because i love men and the attention and i'm sure we could go on and on about how this is all my fault, i develop a crush on this guy. and by the way, i love the word crush. it's so sophomoric yet not, all at the same time. and it's just so fitting: you don't love the guy, you don't even know if you like him. but he's fun to flirt with and you enjoy your time with him. hence, the crush. so anyway, it came to my attention during a g-chat conversation that he and the other guys think of me as one of them. i'm just one of the guys. now, that is partially ideal. it's great to be in with the guys because then there is a higher percentage that your crush will return the crush - i mean, what guy wants to date a girl that his friends don't accept? so being one of the guys and feeling like one of the guys is half the marathon, and i'm there (13.5 miles left to go!). but i realized that we shouldn't accept being one of the guys. because then the crush has a high percentage of a chance (or however you say it) of only seeing us as one of the guys and not as this great treasure that he needs to stake his claim on and protect.
so i emailed my friends and told them the crush was off. like clap on, clap off: crush on, crush off. i also informed the guy that i would no longer be making out with him in the bar. a very good, and wise, friend of mine has always said "actions speak louder" and it is SO true! actions speak so much louder than anything else. making out with someone can easily be read as a potential relationship developing, but it's not. and i'm not sure it's necessarily fair to the other person to assume that is what they mean when they make out with you, or try to get you to go home with them, or even succeed in taking you home (i mean hey, who wants to purchase the fattened cow when they can get one for free). if a guy is really interested, he's going to invest time and energy into getting to know you as a person and treating you with the respect you deserve. it's hard too, when the guy is a lot of fun, to not be tempted to go to the places you know he will be, or to return the affection when he makes a pass. it's just better to keep emotions out of it until you know someone's true intentions.
if you want to make out with me, take me on a date! make me feel like a freakin lady! otherwise, if you just want a make out buddy, why not just make out with one of your buddies. ya know, one of the guys. at least then you don't have to worry about it getting weird when one begins to develop a crush. well, it may be weird, but that's a different story.
Monday, January 19, 2009
i've got the cure for your problem baby
i chose my dentist for location and convenience. and i was literally mortified when he walked in and he was gorgeous. as in the kind of gorgeous where you sit straight up with that bib still on your neck and you feel like a big loser for not dressing up for the dentist. as in next time you're wearing a prom dress for the dentist kind of hot. as in going to the dentist will never be dreadful again. as in how in the heck are you supposed to get him to ask for your number with the crazy hygentist lurking around kind of hot.
my dentist spent 30 entirely unnecessary minutes explaining to me my jaw condition. it would have been one thing had i been able to understand a word he said. but he was using all kinds of medical jargon. maybe it was farsi. either way, i didn't understand. i did understand though that the fact that he stared me right in the eyes for the entire 30 minutes while massaging (yes, massaging) my jaw meant he might not be opposed to being interested in more than just my teeth. thank goodness he gave me a prescription and while i probably needed some more cowbell, it was just what the doctor ordered. after searching facebook for him (no luck) and emailing various friends to see if they knew him from high school (why is his bio on the dentist office's website?!), i decided to be a MAN and go after what i wanted: i called to ask him about my prescription. he didn't have voicemail so the hygentist made me leave her my name, number and tell her what my question was (question? what's a question?) and she promised he would call me back later. all i could come up was a lame "can i take this at work" question (he had specifically told me not to take it at work but she doesn't need to know that). i hung up feeling quite pleased with myself. i knew if he called, it would be from his cell phone. no one could deny that chemistry.
and call he did. he left me a voice mail with his personal cell number and told me to please call him with any other questions. i mean what's a girl to do other than call him back? so i called him back and explained that was a fake question, that i really just wanted him to have my number in case he wasn't seeing anyone. he responded that he was engaged but that he was really flattered and he was excited to see i had left him a number to call me back because he had been really attracted to me during my visit (engaged or not, i was totally wearing a prom dress at my next visit). i said something along the lines of oh well, it was worth a try, see ya. he proceeded to txt me for the rest of the night. at first it was hard not to get caught up in it but i finally came to my senses and told him he didn't sound very engaged and he shouldn't be txting me if he really was. this sort of banter was quite frequent for several weeks until i realized he was just needing to feel attractive and wanted since he was about to tie the knot. i told him that; he called me freud and that was that. i stopped responding all together.
but i really do have these jaw problems and one night, i freaked out and sent him a message about my jaw. he was equally worried (at the time we weren't sure how serious it was) and told me to come in asap for him to check it out. so i went. but i wore gym clothes and came straight from a workout. i honestly didn't expect the sweat to have a greater effect than a prom dress, but he txted me that night and the game started again. he kept asking me just to meet him out for a drink one night (turns out he and the fiancee live together and she was out of town) so i called my best friend and asked what i should do. i mean, was it really any different than meeting me a friend who was engaged? she told me to go so i wouldn't have to wonder anymore. so i went and i actually said i hoped we had a horrible time. only we didn't. we had a fabulous time and stayed out till 2 am. on a school night. he gave me his coat when i was cold, he held the door for me, he flirted, he tried to plant one, ok several, on me, he begged me not to leave at the end of the night, he called to make sure i got home ok when i did finally leave. he also said he had no intention of cheating on his wife when i asked him if he was planning on it after they got married. i told him that was false because he was trying to cheat on her while they were engaged. he said she had everything he wanted but they were lacking a physical relationship. i told him that wasn't going to get better after they got married and perhaps he should decide if she is what he wanted before they got any closer to the wedding.
he continued to text me for several days after this. i finally told him he had to stop - as long as she had a ring on her finger, nothing would happen with us. he told me he just wanted to show me how attracted he was to me. umm, that's a negative. the last time i had an appointment, i canceled. he didn't get in touch with me, wondering where i was. i think he got the hint. the whole thing was fascinating to me - how a man who says he is in love can have an emotional affair with a woman he barely knows to satisfy some part of his relationship he is obviously lacking. i guess it's more common that i realized. it was hard not to get caught up in it - i mean, i cannot sit here and say i wouldn't go out with him if they did break up. but then i look at the situation and i think, "but there is nothing to guarantee me he wouldn't do the same thing to me that he is doing to her." and i feel so badly for her. i feel like i learned so much from him without him even knowing he was teaching me.
i don't feel like he's a bad person. i feel like he was willing to make a bad decision and had i let it go further, he would have. i'm not trying to toot my own horn here people. i shouldn't have let it get past the first txt message - i should have told him not to contact me if he really was engaged or i should have not responded at all. and i dont have any excuse other than it was all so intriguing. i almost feel like instead of those jaw massages, i needed to be knocked in the head with a giant frying pan. this whole episode did nothing but feed his ego. and the bigger his ego got, the worse i felt about it all. i've followed his rules about things i need to do to improve the condition of my jaw but i'm glad i didn't follow his advances, if you will. if those jaw massages were any indicator...stop it.
this guy is probably the ultimate dbag. i wish i could give out an award. he'd win it for sure.
my dentist spent 30 entirely unnecessary minutes explaining to me my jaw condition. it would have been one thing had i been able to understand a word he said. but he was using all kinds of medical jargon. maybe it was farsi. either way, i didn't understand. i did understand though that the fact that he stared me right in the eyes for the entire 30 minutes while massaging (yes, massaging) my jaw meant he might not be opposed to being interested in more than just my teeth. thank goodness he gave me a prescription and while i probably needed some more cowbell, it was just what the doctor ordered. after searching facebook for him (no luck) and emailing various friends to see if they knew him from high school (why is his bio on the dentist office's website?!), i decided to be a MAN and go after what i wanted: i called to ask him about my prescription. he didn't have voicemail so the hygentist made me leave her my name, number and tell her what my question was (question? what's a question?) and she promised he would call me back later. all i could come up was a lame "can i take this at work" question (he had specifically told me not to take it at work but she doesn't need to know that). i hung up feeling quite pleased with myself. i knew if he called, it would be from his cell phone. no one could deny that chemistry.
and call he did. he left me a voice mail with his personal cell number and told me to please call him with any other questions. i mean what's a girl to do other than call him back? so i called him back and explained that was a fake question, that i really just wanted him to have my number in case he wasn't seeing anyone. he responded that he was engaged but that he was really flattered and he was excited to see i had left him a number to call me back because he had been really attracted to me during my visit (engaged or not, i was totally wearing a prom dress at my next visit). i said something along the lines of oh well, it was worth a try, see ya. he proceeded to txt me for the rest of the night. at first it was hard not to get caught up in it but i finally came to my senses and told him he didn't sound very engaged and he shouldn't be txting me if he really was. this sort of banter was quite frequent for several weeks until i realized he was just needing to feel attractive and wanted since he was about to tie the knot. i told him that; he called me freud and that was that. i stopped responding all together.
but i really do have these jaw problems and one night, i freaked out and sent him a message about my jaw. he was equally worried (at the time we weren't sure how serious it was) and told me to come in asap for him to check it out. so i went. but i wore gym clothes and came straight from a workout. i honestly didn't expect the sweat to have a greater effect than a prom dress, but he txted me that night and the game started again. he kept asking me just to meet him out for a drink one night (turns out he and the fiancee live together and she was out of town) so i called my best friend and asked what i should do. i mean, was it really any different than meeting me a friend who was engaged? she told me to go so i wouldn't have to wonder anymore. so i went and i actually said i hoped we had a horrible time. only we didn't. we had a fabulous time and stayed out till 2 am. on a school night. he gave me his coat when i was cold, he held the door for me, he flirted, he tried to plant one, ok several, on me, he begged me not to leave at the end of the night, he called to make sure i got home ok when i did finally leave. he also said he had no intention of cheating on his wife when i asked him if he was planning on it after they got married. i told him that was false because he was trying to cheat on her while they were engaged. he said she had everything he wanted but they were lacking a physical relationship. i told him that wasn't going to get better after they got married and perhaps he should decide if she is what he wanted before they got any closer to the wedding.
he continued to text me for several days after this. i finally told him he had to stop - as long as she had a ring on her finger, nothing would happen with us. he told me he just wanted to show me how attracted he was to me. umm, that's a negative. the last time i had an appointment, i canceled. he didn't get in touch with me, wondering where i was. i think he got the hint. the whole thing was fascinating to me - how a man who says he is in love can have an emotional affair with a woman he barely knows to satisfy some part of his relationship he is obviously lacking. i guess it's more common that i realized. it was hard not to get caught up in it - i mean, i cannot sit here and say i wouldn't go out with him if they did break up. but then i look at the situation and i think, "but there is nothing to guarantee me he wouldn't do the same thing to me that he is doing to her." and i feel so badly for her. i feel like i learned so much from him without him even knowing he was teaching me.
i don't feel like he's a bad person. i feel like he was willing to make a bad decision and had i let it go further, he would have. i'm not trying to toot my own horn here people. i shouldn't have let it get past the first txt message - i should have told him not to contact me if he really was engaged or i should have not responded at all. and i dont have any excuse other than it was all so intriguing. i almost feel like instead of those jaw massages, i needed to be knocked in the head with a giant frying pan. this whole episode did nothing but feed his ego. and the bigger his ego got, the worse i felt about it all. i've followed his rules about things i need to do to improve the condition of my jaw but i'm glad i didn't follow his advances, if you will. if those jaw massages were any indicator...stop it.
this guy is probably the ultimate dbag. i wish i could give out an award. he'd win it for sure.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
dont kiss her in front of me
my friend told me about her friday night and i feel compelled to share it with you, my faithful readers. my friend january recently ran into an old friend at a local event. she was so excited that he remembered her because well, he's hot, and who doesn't get excited when a hot guy remembers them? he asked for her number and they proceeded to spend the next several weeks together, chatting on the phone, going out to dinner, he even went as far as to not only introduce her to his friends, but bring her entirely into his friend group so that his friends are now her friends and she even has arrangements to move in with one of the girls from his friend group. the past few weeks however, she's been a little concerned that perhaps he didn't feel the same way she did. he wasn't returning her calls as quickly and it seemed to almost be in rewind mode instead of fast forward. but he never restrained himself from making out with her.
so, this past friday, january, this guy and all of their friends (remember, she is just as much a part of his friend group as he is now) go out to dinner then to a dance club. where he proceeds to make out with another chick. yes, right in front of january. he even brings this other chick back to his house where everyone in the friend group had planned to stay the night. so january is left in the awkward position of having to ask him and his new friend to stand up from the couch so she can retrieve her coat and purse from where they were sitting. of course her feelings were hurt. she said it best when she said "even if i'm just your makeout buddy, don't make out with someone else in front of me!"
i'm just really getitng disheartened by all the dbags in this town, and it seems, on planet earth. where did guys get the impression that they no longer have to pursue us, fight for us, and just treat us with some common dignity? i told january she needs to call him out on it. she should ask him what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, or she should just tell him that she doesn't hang out with guys who kiss other girls in front of her. he obviously hasn't ever had anyone call him out on his completely inappropriate actions and put him in his place. january doesn't want to do that because its just so completely awkward for her. one friend said to act like she doesnt care because that will make him chase her. i disagree. games are fine until you get hurt. and then you have to either stand up for yourself or just walk away and not let it bother you. if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place, then you cant be upset with them for not meeting your expecations.
but speaking of expectations, for the first few months after i got back into the dating scene, i thought maybe my expectations were just too high. i don't think so. i don't think it's too much to expect that if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know. don't tell me to meet you out at the bar. don't only txt me or facebook me or communicate with me in other internetable ways. MAN UP and call me! MAN UP and take me on a date! wasn't it meredith grey who said "I want heat! I want romance! damn it, i want to feel like a freakin' lady!" guys these days just dont want to put the effort into dating someone anymore. they want to meet a girl in the bar, take her home, then not have to talk to her again. or, they want to take a girl to dinner a few times, take her home, and then not talk to her again. i can't tell you how many guys txt me to meet them out on the weekends, but they don't call me during the week, and they certainly don't ask me to dinner.
there's something to be said for getting to know someone as friends first, but bottom line is, if you're interested in her, you should take her to dinner, and romance her and really let her know that you want to spend time with her. making out in the bar is fun and it's fine every now and then. we all do it. but that isn't a relationship and it's not a valid way to get to know someone. i dont think i can scream it any louder. if you want to get to know me, if you are interested in me , then flippin ask me on a date and be a MAN. stop being a boy. i like pansies but only the garden variety. i like boys but i prefer men. and i certainly dont want any type of male who doesn't have enough balls to ask me on a date and make me feel like a freakin' lady!
so, this past friday, january, this guy and all of their friends (remember, she is just as much a part of his friend group as he is now) go out to dinner then to a dance club. where he proceeds to make out with another chick. yes, right in front of january. he even brings this other chick back to his house where everyone in the friend group had planned to stay the night. so january is left in the awkward position of having to ask him and his new friend to stand up from the couch so she can retrieve her coat and purse from where they were sitting. of course her feelings were hurt. she said it best when she said "even if i'm just your makeout buddy, don't make out with someone else in front of me!"
i'm just really getitng disheartened by all the dbags in this town, and it seems, on planet earth. where did guys get the impression that they no longer have to pursue us, fight for us, and just treat us with some common dignity? i told january she needs to call him out on it. she should ask him what he was trying to accomplish by doing that, or she should just tell him that she doesn't hang out with guys who kiss other girls in front of her. he obviously hasn't ever had anyone call him out on his completely inappropriate actions and put him in his place. january doesn't want to do that because its just so completely awkward for her. one friend said to act like she doesnt care because that will make him chase her. i disagree. games are fine until you get hurt. and then you have to either stand up for yourself or just walk away and not let it bother you. if you aren't willing to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place, then you cant be upset with them for not meeting your expecations.
but speaking of expectations, for the first few months after i got back into the dating scene, i thought maybe my expectations were just too high. i don't think so. i don't think it's too much to expect that if a guy is interested in you, he will let you know. don't tell me to meet you out at the bar. don't only txt me or facebook me or communicate with me in other internetable ways. MAN UP and call me! MAN UP and take me on a date! wasn't it meredith grey who said "I want heat! I want romance! damn it, i want to feel like a freakin' lady!" guys these days just dont want to put the effort into dating someone anymore. they want to meet a girl in the bar, take her home, then not have to talk to her again. or, they want to take a girl to dinner a few times, take her home, and then not talk to her again. i can't tell you how many guys txt me to meet them out on the weekends, but they don't call me during the week, and they certainly don't ask me to dinner.
there's something to be said for getting to know someone as friends first, but bottom line is, if you're interested in her, you should take her to dinner, and romance her and really let her know that you want to spend time with her. making out in the bar is fun and it's fine every now and then. we all do it. but that isn't a relationship and it's not a valid way to get to know someone. i dont think i can scream it any louder. if you want to get to know me, if you are interested in me , then flippin ask me on a date and be a MAN. stop being a boy. i like pansies but only the garden variety. i like boys but i prefer men. and i certainly dont want any type of male who doesn't have enough balls to ask me on a date and make me feel like a freakin' lady!
hey can you not post those to facebook?
Recently, I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of a good friend of mine from school. she married a sweet boy from another state. her family is small and his is large, so they chose to have their wedding in his hometown. for years this fabulous couple has spoken about how much fun it would be if his best friends met her best friends because they would all get along so well. i don't think they anticipated just how well the best friends would get along.
the bride and groom had a wedding website and one of the groomsmen posted his congratulations along with a notice to all bridesmaids that he was on the hunt for his wife at this wedding and we better hone our dancing skills. now, anyone who knows me knows that 1: i cannot resist a good dance off and b, i cannot resist a good smack talking sesh. i responded to his post to which he responded with a facebook friendship request. i accepted and for the three weeks leading up to the wedding, we traded messages about the dance off that would ensue at the wedding. i was super curious to meet this badass from cali.
i was not impressed when i first met him. he came in saying "where's my girl" and i so wish i could demonstrate his little jig he did when he met me. he also looked like he was from cali, and i, well, do not (not to mention that sometimes people from this area of Cali dress a little...dooshy) . we hugged and that was that. it wasn't until the rehearsal dinner that the trash talking came to a head and we both realized how much chemistry there was between us. we danced all night in between our sneaks off to makeout in the darkened hallway (yes, we really snuck off to makeout in the dark hallways and i enjoyed it). we followed the rest of the wedding party back to the groom's parent's house for some hot tub action. the hot tub was scandalous and delicious (all maids and men had paired off) and it was literally some of the steamiest kissing i've experienced. we didn't see each other until the next day when we walked down the aisle at the wedding. he said to me "i've been waiting to kiss those juicy red lips of yours all day." sweet, right? yes. at the reception we danced and dined and drank. there were dance offs galore. the entire wedding party went back to the aforementioned house where we paired off again. this groomsman, another groomsman (who happens to be his best friend) and i went to a back bedroom where we stayed up until the wee hours talking and eating pizza. i was so intrigued by this professional athlete from the west coast who said he was moving to the east coast to play for a team out here.
the next day we all get the great idea to go into town, rent a big hotel room and party all night. the big hotel room didn't make much sense though since everyone was ready to go to bed at different times. he and i got our own room where we watched movies and talked all night. the next morning, as i got ready for my early flight out, he asked me if i was ever going to talk to him again. i said that was up to him. he responded with "oh, you and i are going to be seeing a lot more of each other." i told him i had a great time and i got on my jet plane. i love the feeling a really fun weekend leaves you with. little did i know how dramatic this boy would turn out to be...
i received a txt from him asking me to not post any pictures to facebook of us. well hell-o, sounds like someone must have a girlfriend. he even went as far as to tell me he doesn't have a girlfriend but he doesn't like dealing with the headache of having to explain. he also said he didn't think the two world's best kissers (i am actually quite the kiss-artist) needed to put it on display for all of facebook to see. im not even sure he even considered the fact that i might have my own situations and might lack a desire to get myself in trouble. i was pretty irritated however that he was take a weekend fling and turn it into something dramatic in just a few short text messages. one of the other maids had some telling pictures that i asked her to email to me. i then emailed him one of us kissing and said "so i'm confused. am i supposed to post and tag this or not?" i admit - it was slightly bitchy on my part and i'm not surprised i haven't heard back. i also posted on his wall something funny about a rapper we both enjoy and he deleted the post. yes my readers, he DELETED the post. haven't i already said you don't delete me? and wait, weren't you the one who asked me if i was ever going to talk to you again?
turns out this guy totally has a girlfriend. maybe they don't have that title, but some girl keeps posting pics of them together at various places around town, and i'm just assuming she's the one he was worried about catching him when he sent me those txts. i mean, call me crazy but when you show up in a family picture, you're obviously more than just some RANDO. at first my feelings were hurt that he sent me those txts (i guess some guys don't want to brag to their friends), but the more i've studied his profile, the more i've realized he's just an honest tool and he doesn't know any better. and i'm guessing he deleted my wall post because he doesn't want to have to deal with THAT headache. that's alright. he deleted my wall post, so now i've deleted him as a friend. it really is SO refreshing to do that.
the bride and groom had a wedding website and one of the groomsmen posted his congratulations along with a notice to all bridesmaids that he was on the hunt for his wife at this wedding and we better hone our dancing skills. now, anyone who knows me knows that 1: i cannot resist a good dance off and b, i cannot resist a good smack talking sesh. i responded to his post to which he responded with a facebook friendship request. i accepted and for the three weeks leading up to the wedding, we traded messages about the dance off that would ensue at the wedding. i was super curious to meet this badass from cali.
i was not impressed when i first met him. he came in saying "where's my girl" and i so wish i could demonstrate his little jig he did when he met me. he also looked like he was from cali, and i, well, do not (not to mention that sometimes people from this area of Cali dress a little...dooshy) . we hugged and that was that. it wasn't until the rehearsal dinner that the trash talking came to a head and we both realized how much chemistry there was between us. we danced all night in between our sneaks off to makeout in the darkened hallway (yes, we really snuck off to makeout in the dark hallways and i enjoyed it). we followed the rest of the wedding party back to the groom's parent's house for some hot tub action. the hot tub was scandalous and delicious (all maids and men had paired off) and it was literally some of the steamiest kissing i've experienced. we didn't see each other until the next day when we walked down the aisle at the wedding. he said to me "i've been waiting to kiss those juicy red lips of yours all day." sweet, right? yes. at the reception we danced and dined and drank. there were dance offs galore. the entire wedding party went back to the aforementioned house where we paired off again. this groomsman, another groomsman (who happens to be his best friend) and i went to a back bedroom where we stayed up until the wee hours talking and eating pizza. i was so intrigued by this professional athlete from the west coast who said he was moving to the east coast to play for a team out here.
the next day we all get the great idea to go into town, rent a big hotel room and party all night. the big hotel room didn't make much sense though since everyone was ready to go to bed at different times. he and i got our own room where we watched movies and talked all night. the next morning, as i got ready for my early flight out, he asked me if i was ever going to talk to him again. i said that was up to him. he responded with "oh, you and i are going to be seeing a lot more of each other." i told him i had a great time and i got on my jet plane. i love the feeling a really fun weekend leaves you with. little did i know how dramatic this boy would turn out to be...
i received a txt from him asking me to not post any pictures to facebook of us. well hell-o, sounds like someone must have a girlfriend. he even went as far as to tell me he doesn't have a girlfriend but he doesn't like dealing with the headache of having to explain. he also said he didn't think the two world's best kissers (i am actually quite the kiss-artist) needed to put it on display for all of facebook to see. im not even sure he even considered the fact that i might have my own situations and might lack a desire to get myself in trouble. i was pretty irritated however that he was take a weekend fling and turn it into something dramatic in just a few short text messages. one of the other maids had some telling pictures that i asked her to email to me. i then emailed him one of us kissing and said "so i'm confused. am i supposed to post and tag this or not?" i admit - it was slightly bitchy on my part and i'm not surprised i haven't heard back. i also posted on his wall something funny about a rapper we both enjoy and he deleted the post. yes my readers, he DELETED the post. haven't i already said you don't delete me? and wait, weren't you the one who asked me if i was ever going to talk to you again?
turns out this guy totally has a girlfriend. maybe they don't have that title, but some girl keeps posting pics of them together at various places around town, and i'm just assuming she's the one he was worried about catching him when he sent me those txts. i mean, call me crazy but when you show up in a family picture, you're obviously more than just some RANDO. at first my feelings were hurt that he sent me those txts (i guess some guys don't want to brag to their friends), but the more i've studied his profile, the more i've realized he's just an honest tool and he doesn't know any better. and i'm guessing he deleted my wall post because he doesn't want to have to deal with THAT headache. that's alright. he deleted my wall post, so now i've deleted him as a friend. it really is SO refreshing to do that.
Monday, January 12, 2009
the tools don't get sharper
so the tomato farmer is back. oh yes, i totally called this one. it didn't work out with his lady friend. so he's been calling me. as a matter of fact, i got a txt at 4 pm yesterday asking me to go to the movies with him (this is AFTER he called last week to tell me things hadn't worked out with her and he wanted to spend some time with me...please). i said i had dinner plans to which he responded "would you care to join me after that?" ummm would I care to? that's a negative ghost rider. did he not learn ANYTHING the first go round after i told him time after time not to ask me out last minute? and how about the whole passing up something good with me for a maybe with her? i'm not going to be your second choice pal. did you think i was kidding when i said that?
i guess this is just proof that tools don't get sharper, they only get duller the more they sit in the shed.
i guess this is just proof that tools don't get sharper, they only get duller the more they sit in the shed.
OMG, we're not bff anymore?
Sorry, it's been awhile. I've been dealing with weddings galore, holidays, and of course, tool boxes so big my arms hurt from trying to lug them around in my mind.
I borrowed this title from an article I saw in the Wall Street Journal. It was about the art of "unfriending" on facebook, myspace, and other social networking sites. Now, this definitely caught my attention because I love deleting friends on facebook. it's not meant to be mean or callous or cause hurt feelings. it's simply because i am friends with a lot of people that i do not talk to regularly. so why should they be privy to all aspects of my life? i mean, i guess i shouldn't enable all aspects of my life to be open to the public domain but whatever. i'm a double standard in the best form possible.
so, i log on to facebook in an attempt to delete a particular person...we'll call him boat boy. and lo and behold, i find he is no longer on my friends list. wtf...i know he didn't delete me! i know HE did not delete ME! after i got over my initial shock that someone actually had the nerve to delete me, i decided it was definitely time to blog about him.
i'm involved with a local young professionals organization and we had a party aboard a yacht; a booze cruise if you will. boat boy was a boat hand for the evening; the hired help if you will. but he was hot hired help. all the girls are flirting with him but i wasn't worried. at the end of the night, being in no shape to drive my car to the after party, he offered to drive it for me. i obliged and off we went. we showed up late to the after party - i mean, since he was hired help and all, he had to help clean the boat while i sat in the car and wondered what in the world i had gotten myself into. at the after party, we dance, we hold hands, we kanoodle as people in bars often do on or around a pool table. when the night was over, we both realized how hungry we were, so we drove to a local hot dog stand, got some dogs, and took them back to my condo. we stayed up ALL night talking about life, love and everything along the way. He confided that he took his job in NC (at the time of our meeting, he'd been in the city for about 2 months) because he had prayed about it and God had really laid it on his heart to be here. I don't care what your religious affiliation is: nothing is sexier than a hot man talking about God, even if he does have hot dog breath and a mustard stain on his shirt. He got my number, manages to get back home, and proceeds to text message me about hanging out again soon.
unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. he and i get into somewhat of a text messaging argument over a girl we'll call Susan. i have a friend named susan, whom he had met at the after party that night, and he was telling me he really liked susan. they were not and are not one in the same and i most definitely put my foot in my own mouth that night. i accused him of being a player and going behind my back to get to know my friend susan while leading me on. i was especially angry with him because i honestly thought i had found a real winner who prayed about life decisions and really was an upstanding Christian man. boy was I WRONG. after these texts, i decided to do some investigating and came to the realization that he was indeed dating susan. only it was not my susan. but i was involved in an organization with his susan, so that was just weird, because i don't think she had any idea that he still kept in contact with me. so i stopped responding and moved on. i wanted the story to end there.
susan and boat boy broke up. know how i know? because he started gchatting me and wanting to know why i never talked to him anymore. at this point, i messaged his roommate, who i think is actually a nice guy, and told him boat boy had hurt my feelings about the whole susan situation. i'm not sure what the roommate said to boat boy, but boat boy apologized. i don't like to hold grudges. he asked me out repeatedly for about 2 months before i said ok. he said a group of his friends were getting together for some drinks and would i please go with him. i'm not sure why i said ok. oh wait, i know why. because he is extremely good looking and i just can't say no to a doosh. in theory, i can, but in reality, they are charming. so i go, we have a good time, i think his roommate bought my glass of wine. i go home, he txts me, says he wants to hang out again that same week. i said i didn't know if i would have the time due to my hectic work schedule. plus, i don't know if i even liked him at this point.
the next day, he g-chats me and the convo turns to sex. yes, s-e-x. after a group date. i tell him i'm not sleeping with anyone until i get married. he spends about 25 minutes blasting me over gchat for what a dumb decision that is and how no one would put up with that. i told him i didn't think it really should matter and that he wouldn't be the first person to not hang out with me again because of this decision.
i wasn't surprised to not get a response from him. then i hear through the grapevine he moved home. then i go to delete him and turns out he's deleted me.
so when i see this article in the paper, i immediately think of him. thank god we're not facebook bffs anymore. only a tool would delete me from his friend list for not sleeping with him. i, on the other hand, delete people for MUCH better reasons.
I borrowed this title from an article I saw in the Wall Street Journal. It was about the art of "unfriending" on facebook, myspace, and other social networking sites. Now, this definitely caught my attention because I love deleting friends on facebook. it's not meant to be mean or callous or cause hurt feelings. it's simply because i am friends with a lot of people that i do not talk to regularly. so why should they be privy to all aspects of my life? i mean, i guess i shouldn't enable all aspects of my life to be open to the public domain but whatever. i'm a double standard in the best form possible.
so, i log on to facebook in an attempt to delete a particular person...we'll call him boat boy. and lo and behold, i find he is no longer on my friends list. wtf...i know he didn't delete me! i know HE did not delete ME! after i got over my initial shock that someone actually had the nerve to delete me, i decided it was definitely time to blog about him.
i'm involved with a local young professionals organization and we had a party aboard a yacht; a booze cruise if you will. boat boy was a boat hand for the evening; the hired help if you will. but he was hot hired help. all the girls are flirting with him but i wasn't worried. at the end of the night, being in no shape to drive my car to the after party, he offered to drive it for me. i obliged and off we went. we showed up late to the after party - i mean, since he was hired help and all, he had to help clean the boat while i sat in the car and wondered what in the world i had gotten myself into. at the after party, we dance, we hold hands, we kanoodle as people in bars often do on or around a pool table. when the night was over, we both realized how hungry we were, so we drove to a local hot dog stand, got some dogs, and took them back to my condo. we stayed up ALL night talking about life, love and everything along the way. He confided that he took his job in NC (at the time of our meeting, he'd been in the city for about 2 months) because he had prayed about it and God had really laid it on his heart to be here. I don't care what your religious affiliation is: nothing is sexier than a hot man talking about God, even if he does have hot dog breath and a mustard stain on his shirt. He got my number, manages to get back home, and proceeds to text message me about hanging out again soon.
unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. he and i get into somewhat of a text messaging argument over a girl we'll call Susan. i have a friend named susan, whom he had met at the after party that night, and he was telling me he really liked susan. they were not and are not one in the same and i most definitely put my foot in my own mouth that night. i accused him of being a player and going behind my back to get to know my friend susan while leading me on. i was especially angry with him because i honestly thought i had found a real winner who prayed about life decisions and really was an upstanding Christian man. boy was I WRONG. after these texts, i decided to do some investigating and came to the realization that he was indeed dating susan. only it was not my susan. but i was involved in an organization with his susan, so that was just weird, because i don't think she had any idea that he still kept in contact with me. so i stopped responding and moved on. i wanted the story to end there.
susan and boat boy broke up. know how i know? because he started gchatting me and wanting to know why i never talked to him anymore. at this point, i messaged his roommate, who i think is actually a nice guy, and told him boat boy had hurt my feelings about the whole susan situation. i'm not sure what the roommate said to boat boy, but boat boy apologized. i don't like to hold grudges. he asked me out repeatedly for about 2 months before i said ok. he said a group of his friends were getting together for some drinks and would i please go with him. i'm not sure why i said ok. oh wait, i know why. because he is extremely good looking and i just can't say no to a doosh. in theory, i can, but in reality, they are charming. so i go, we have a good time, i think his roommate bought my glass of wine. i go home, he txts me, says he wants to hang out again that same week. i said i didn't know if i would have the time due to my hectic work schedule. plus, i don't know if i even liked him at this point.
the next day, he g-chats me and the convo turns to sex. yes, s-e-x. after a group date. i tell him i'm not sleeping with anyone until i get married. he spends about 25 minutes blasting me over gchat for what a dumb decision that is and how no one would put up with that. i told him i didn't think it really should matter and that he wouldn't be the first person to not hang out with me again because of this decision.
i wasn't surprised to not get a response from him. then i hear through the grapevine he moved home. then i go to delete him and turns out he's deleted me.
so when i see this article in the paper, i immediately think of him. thank god we're not facebook bffs anymore. only a tool would delete me from his friend list for not sleeping with him. i, on the other hand, delete people for MUCH better reasons.
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