I have a story to tell you. but, because it is so much more appropriate to copy and paste the online conversation.

background: this boy got placed in the tool shed some time ago. he also hates the one sports team that i actually support consistently (keep in mind i am what you may call a 'fair weather' type fan. i pride myself in the fact that i will dress the part of number one fan but will never leave a game unhappy). the team i love happens to be the number one basketball team in town (and who doesn't love a number one) and he went to a rival school (come to think of it, and yes i know this is a lot of parantheticals, part of my team's fight song includes the words go to hell [insert his school]). he is also currently looking for a couch.

additional background: i was engaged once. all you need to know about my broken engagement is that it left me deeply wounded and is not something i ever joke about. EVER.

conversation:
me: hmm well whatever

i love them

and you do not

10:43 AM him: that is correct

10:47 AM i guess it explains your love for frat boys and douchbaggery

me: hahahah

whatev - im so over frat boys and douch bags

10:48 AM im only hangin gout with the ones who treat me well now

but that school is just a-ok with me!

him: haha

you are such a flavor of the week type girl

10:49 AM me: no im not

him: how were u ever engaged?

me: ouch

him: im just saying

me: when i commit - i commit well

him: the last one was more of a joke

not tryign to bash your commitment skills

me: it better have been - im a good catch and he's a fool

so THERE

10:50 AM him: it was rhetorical

10:52 AM don't u hate getting emails and contacted by ex's u don't wanna talk to

my ex just sent me an email on a huge distbn list trying to sell a couch

10:53 AM me: well you need a couch

him: i do

but not a pretty pink floral one

10:58 AM me: a couch is couch

33 minutes

OK. where do i even begin? First off, who the hell does he think he is that he can call me a flavor of the week type of girl? because i think if you're going to make out with your friend in the bar on numerous occasions, then you should also treat them to dinner and actually take them on a date? i'm a flavor of the week type of girl because i continually get asked out by dbags and move on to the next one when i realize what a douche they are? and who are you sir to question how i was ever engaged? just because you've become privaleged enough to know that piece of my history does not mean you can question the validity of it. nor does it mean that even though much time has passed, that the bee doesn't still sting a little. just because we've chatted online daily up until this conversation does not mean i've granted you access to the inner workings of my brain or given you any insight into the pain, humliation and utter depression i suffered because of that time in my life. anyone who would make a comment like that, joking or not, is not my real friend. nor are they anyone worthy of my interest, time and effort.

i have not spoken to him since. i don't know if he gave in and bought the couch from his ex. his ability to change the subject to soften the blow, but his absolute inability to apologize for a crass comment such as the one above proved to me so much of what i knew in my heart but really didn't want to believe: a couch is a couch, a jerk is a jerk, a douche is a douche, and you are officially a member of the shed.