Do you want seconds? oh by the way, I don't date

I met Mr. I Don't Date (hereinafter referred as Mr. IDD) in a bar. I know, I know. But, I cannot tell a lie. A friend of mine and I had left a party and gone to the bar and secured a table. Mr. IDD and several of his tool box companions came over and started chitchatting. We ended up shagging (a form of southern US dance for all you non-beach music lovers) and I just knew I was in love. He was VERY good looking, smart, had a good job (I'd already secured a business card for proof) and could shag. We left the bar shortly thereafter and moved on to another bar and eventually, back to my car to go home.

I am ashamed to admit that I fell for the cardinal trick of dooshbaggery. He pretended to already know where my car was, since I couldn't remember (keep in mind I had just met this guy and although we had already determined we had several mutual friends...enough for me to know he was at least not an ax murderer...he had no idea what kind of car I drove) so we proceeded to ride up and down the elevator, stopping at EVERY level and kissing. yes my friends, I fell for this. i'm so embarassed.

we finally found my car (notice my use of the word we. because HE had SO much to do with it). we got in, drove to his house and he asked me to walk him to the door. what? is this a date now and i'm the man? i did. because i'm a faller for really big tools. i leave him there at his door and go home. 3 days later i get the call. yes, i will have dinner with you. you're going to make me dinner? man, this guy gets better and better!

i show up at his house on a tues. he serves salmon, asparagus, something else, and wine. we sit at the table just talking and talking and enjoy our date. and in the middle of our conversation, before asking me if he can get me seconds, he drops the bomb: "by the way, I don't date." EXCUSE ME SIR, ARE WE NOT ON A DATE? he was completely serious. i sat there for a moment then realized I had suddenly lost my appetite. I got up, delivered my plate to the sink, thanked him for dinner and walked out.

You may not date pal, but I don't date dooshbags. Or tools. And I definitely DO NOT date you, MR. IDD.